The Crystal Mozart: Heaven (By Way Of Hell)

OK, before you accuse me of crafting a title strictly based on its click bait rating, at least give me a chance to explain myself.  This will involve a brief stroll through a personal hell (although for those of us who lived it, it was anything but brief) before we can turn our attention to the celestial portion of this post.

On December 4, 2018 I was on a Carnival cruise when I got a text from my son-in-law that my wife Teresa had been taken to the hospital by ambulance with what they feared was a heart attack.  That shocking message was followed fairly shortly with the update that there was good news, it was not a heart attack but only gall bladder stones.  While I was feverishly Googling gall bladder surgery (relatively routine, couple of days in the hospital, etc. and feeling very much relieved), the doctor called me mid-surgery to inform me that the stones had moved into the common bile duct and he needed my permission to remove them.  Naturally, I agreed.   Never have I made a more momentous decision with less forethought and more dire consequence.

In the process of removing the stones, the surgeon nicked the pancreas and thereby caused what proved to be the onset of severe pancreatitis.   Teresa spent the next 139 days in either the hospital or rehab with multiple trips to both.  During the entire duration she suffered from severe nausea and pain.  I will spare you the details . . . to be honest, more out of consideration of my psyche than yours.  Some very ugly memories are tucked away in the recesses of my grey matter that I am none to eager to disturb.

I will share one little window into the ordeal because it directly relates to our sojourn from “the outhouse to the penthouse”.   During some of those truly dark days when Teresa was loosing all hope that she would ever feel better (and honestly, my faith was wavering a bit), I would make her talk about the next great vacation we would take and all the cool things we would do and see and experience.

Finally, on Easter Sunday (rather apropos, I agree), she came home to stay.  She arrived home to a hospital bed set up in the spare bedroom, a wheelchair, and full daytime care.  She was so debilitated at first she could not even get out of bed.  She very slowly progressed to sitting in a wheelchair, to walking with a walker, eventually a cane and now mostly unaided.

Somewhere in the midst of this progression, a realization struck me with the force of a thunderbolt.  I had spent months in the hospital elevating her spirits by dangling an amazing vacation in front of her.   You know where I am going with this, right?  It dawned on me that I had a dug myself a very deep hole that would require some serious shoveling to escape.

This is where the story finally takes a turn for the better.  It’s about time, you are probably thinking.   Sorry for the slow slog though our misery but at least there is a happy, if not ending, middle.  We still have a few challenges to overcome on the medical front.

As those of you know who (out of sheer boredom, I assume), follow this blog, I am not just an avid traveler but a participant in the travel business.  Over the years we have catered to every taste and budget.  This has afforded me familiarity with the good, the bad and the uninhabitable.   It didn’t take long before the options narrowed down to the one cruise line that has an unassailable reputation as the crème de la crème.   If you didn’t notice the name emblazoned across the bow of the river ship above, I am, of course, referring to Crystal Cruises.

In a couple of subsequent blogs, I am going to carry you along on our journey from Vienna to Budapest, with some magical stops along the way.  Before we set sail, however, let me regale you with a few of the reasons the choice was so self-evident.

Crystal Put the Lux In Luxury

Imagine (not that you have to, of course) one brand that has risen to the pinnacle of success in luxury travel regardless of whether you are dreaming of ocean, river, yacht, expedition or air travel.   In just thirty short years, Crystal Cruises has staked out a claim as the “World’s Most Awarded Luxury Cruise Line”.

The only way to reach such lofty heights is to have an unrelenting and unmatched focus on a superior standard of excellence.  Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, famously bragged that as owner and general manager he was in charge of everything from jocks to socks.  Well, as I found out, Crystal Cruises is the master of everything from turn downs to toilets.   Here is a somewhat humorous  illustration of what I mean.   Do you know what you are looking at below?

This is the front and the back of the most sophisticated toilet remote control I have ever seen.  Which is not surprising as it is the only toilet remote control I have ever seen. With this little jewel you can adjust the water level, the temperature, pressure and width of the seat, you can set the seat to oscillating or pulsating (not an easy choice) and even program settings for two different users.  You can set the back of the seat to automatically rise when you approach the toilet.

OK,  admittedly I have never given much thought to my tush temperature (other than that one time on a boy scout camp out when a visit to the latrine put me in mortal fear of frost bite of my entire nether regions) but when getting out of bed on a cold night, having a warm repose is not all bad.  I guess my point would be, if Crystal Cruises devotes that much attention to bathroom niceties, just think how much attention they give to all the other components of a great experience.

As you will see, when you return for the next installment (I am the eternal optimist), I clearly made the perfect choice.   If you have any trouble finding your way back here, just reach out to my port side butler, not to be confused with my ship side butler.  I know, that sounds decadent . . . but in a very nice way!   See you back here soon!

A Bit Of Bliss . . . NCL Style

A couple of weekends ago I was invited, along with 4000 or so of my closest competitors, to fly from DFW to LAX to experience a tiny, tantalizing taste (just under 40 hours to be precise) of NCL’s newest floating masterpiece, The Bliss.   It probably tells you everything you need to know about travel agents that they will blissfully (pun intended) get up at 3:30 am, fly three hours and Uber another half hour to board an inaugural cruise on a brand new ship and sail gleefully off . . . to nowhere.   Such is our devotion to new experiences, expanding our already vast library of knowledge and OK, I admit, complimentary libations.

I was permitted a guest and I brought along my grandson, Samuel Denton Walls (take note of his awesome middle name), a very recent high school graduate.  The only thing better than experiencing a beautiful new cruise ship by yourself is the delight of viewing it through the eyes of someone who has never set foot on one of these floating destinations.  Plus, Sam proved exceedingly helpful once I offered him a small stipend to be my official photographer and videographer.  The photos and video you see here are his handiwork.

So what does the NCL Bliss have to offer?  Honestly, there are way too many features to recount them all in this post but click here and then “highlights” for a full recounting of the many venues and activities.  I will focus our remaining moments on just a few of my own impressions.  Before I do, those of you who are looking at the picture above and are imagining me plummeting through one of those blue tubes extending over the side of the ship like some bulbous human torpedo, you are cursed with hyperactive imaginations.

On the other hand, should you picture me lingering in this venue instead, you would be very near the mark if not on it.  This was one of my favorite watering holes due to the fact that it is conveniently wedged between Cagney’s Steakhouse (my personal favorite specialty dining venue) and Los Lobos, in their words, “a premium Mexican restaurant celebrating traditional flavors with a modern twist.”  Unfortunately, I did not get the opportunity to visit “The Wolves” (English translation) but I tried my best to offset that omission by behaving rather like a ravenous wolf myself at Cagney’s.  Don’t be misled by my restrained demeanor in this picture to the left.  Before the flash even had time to dissipate, I was up to my elbows in Australian lamb.  Pray, what other fare would you expect from a wolf?  We don’t do tofu.

I am hardly a connoisseur of fine art (unless watching every episode so far of Genius on the life of Pablo Picasso and attendance at two recent “wine and paint” parties qualifies) but I was very impressed by the magnificent works of art liberally sprinkled around the Bliss.  That feature, among others, is treated in the video below.

One of the most unique features on the ship is the Grand Prix race track with Formula One style cars racing around the largest competitive racetrack at sea.  On one of Sam’s few respites from filming the next great Indie film to take Cannes by storm (see below), he managed to take a spin.  Not wanting to embarrass him with my own racing prowess honed over years of driving the DFW metroplex, I refrained.

I invite you to take ten minutes . . . I promise it will seem like less than half an hour . . . and watch this riveting video.  I apologize in advance for the sound quality.  No matter how rudely I shouted at the other 4000 invited guests to stop having such a boisterous good time, they treated my efforts to create a video masterpiece with what can only be charitably called disdain.  These six little vignettes will give you a flavor of additional features on the Bliss that time and space fail me to mention here.

If you are longing for the perfect ship to sail you from the shores of your mundane daily rut and into a sparkling sea of fine dining, stimulating entertainment and/or soothing relaxation (as you prefer), the NCL Bliss is the obvious choice.  Visit our website tltravelagents.com to find one of our experienced vacation travel advisors who will be only to happy to make this happen.

Who Set The Bar For The Viking Star?

For anything to have “personality”, logic dictates that a “person” must be involved somewhere.  (Sometimes I stun myself with my own profundity.  Or, some would say, I just have a born knack for stating the bleedin’ obvious.)  Either way, bear with me.  Where I am headed with this should be clear soon enough.

I just stepped off the Viking Star after sailing from New York City to San Juan, Puerto Rico.  Why that particular itinerary?  Faithful reader, do you really need to ask?  I was invited, of course. (I would sail through the Straits of Malacca during a typhoon, an outbreak of both rickets and/or scurvy plus a worldwide pirate convention if they offered free lobster and imported wine.)  I came away from that glorious experience with the distinct impression that she is a ship dripping . . . in salt water, of course . . . with buckets of personality.

Since this particular re-positioning cruise was teeming with way more travel agents than should ever be allowed to congregate in one confined space, we were graced with the presence of many Viking Cruise dignitaries even including the impressive and charmingly impish Torstein Hagen himself, the founder, chairman and CEO of Viking Cruises.

A very short way into his illuminating presentation, it struck me like a thunderbolt that, not just the ship but the entire Viking enterprise, is a reflection of his alluring personality and values.  The same should be said of his daughter Karine, whose style and touch are also seen everywhere.   Can you even imagine Apple Computers without Steve Jobs or Microsoft without Bill Gates?  Minus their respective inputs, these two enterprises would not just be radically different but likely not even exist.

Listening to Tors speak . . . I feel comfortable calling him that even though the extent of our personal relationship consists of his almost making eye contact with me seated in the twelfth row of the theater . . . I began to take mental note of the manifold ways Tors has left his imprint and imprimatur upon the new fleet of ocean-going vessels, including the Viking Star.   Let me quickly share just three examples.

Priorities From A New Perspective

I was intrigued by Tor’s take on priorities.  He pointed out that it consists not so much in selecting as eliminating.  Since time and resources are always finite, the place to begin is to decide what you are not going to include.  The Viking ocean cruise philosophy is defined as much by what is not included as what is.   Tors knows his customer down to which side of the head they part their hair.  Here are a few things you won’t find on the Viking Star and why:

•  Casino – It makes no sense for a small ship (under 1000 passengers) to try to be Vegas at Sea.   If gambling is your thing, they do stop in Monte Carlo.
•  No children under 18.  The Viking customers typically love their own grandkids, just not other people’s.
•  No charge for beer and wine at lunch and dinner.  OK, this hardly needs a staunch defense.
•  No charge for wifi.  Nor does this.
•  No charge for alternative restaurants.  We’re on a roll here.
•  No bumper cars, rock climbing walls, etc.  Tors likes to point out that his ships are not meant to be confused with amusement parks.  That’s why they are sometimes called “The Thinking Person’s Cruise.”

Posh But Not Osh (as in Ostentatious)

There are other cruise lines that specialize in the opulent.  I understand there is one where you need a hand-written letter of recommendation from your bishop just to board.  I found it interesting that Tors does not even like the word luxury.  What he does like to provide is incredible quality at prices that don’t require cashing in your 401K, or in my case, my .01K.   Let me give you a couple of examples of what I mean.

•  Restaurant Philosophy – Other ships have specialty restaurants normally available for an upcharge.  Viking prefers to call them “alternative restaurants” because they are insistent that the quality of the food in the main dining room, called unsurprisingly “The Restaurant”, be on exactly the same par as the alternative restaurants.

•  The Destination is the Destination – Some of the large ships have more amusements than your average theme park.  Thus they have coined the saying that “the ship is the destination.”  The typical Viking customer is a traveler not a tourist.  G. K. Chesterton explains the distinction, ““The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.”  Viking customers board with full suitcases, open minds and wide eyes.

The Devil Is In The Details

I mentioned to someone on the cruise that I could write an entire blog post just about the bathroom.  To prove it, here at least is a section devoted to the potty.  Check out these brilliant features:

•  Heated floors in the bathroom.  When you get up during the night, no one wants to return to bed with cold tootsies!
•  Incredible shower heads, volume pressure and separate handles for volume and temperature.
•  No-fog mirrors.
•  Amenities (shampoo, conditioner and lotion) in rational quantities and readable labels.
•  In the public bathrooms, birds serenely chirping away overhead.  OK, not real ones but recordings of real ones.  They even have Norwegian accents.
•  Also in the public bathrooms, actual cloths for drying your hands and hand creme for re-moisturizing.
• In the spa locker rooms, instant swim suit dryers.  Seriously!

I bring this up just to illustrate that this meticulous attention to detail permeates the entire vessel.  I could easily build similar lists regarding the spa, dining, etc.

As we sadly leave the Caribbean Sea in our wake, I would like to close with this observation.  Booking a cruise, from the travel agent’s point of view, is a little like matchmaking.  In a marriage, the couple’s chances at future happiness are enhanced the more the groom knows about the bride and vice versa.  Matching the right person with the right cruise line has many parallels.

I can tell you from my experience of the past week that Viking builds their ocean ships based on twenty years of river ship experience.  They know their customers as well as anyone in the industry and tailor their product precisely for that customer.

My hope is, having read this blog, you will understand better whether you are that perfect Viking ocean cruise customer and are ready for one of our master matchmakers to craft you a cruise experience made in heaven.

Liberation At Sea

There is something about the routine of daily life that is both reassuring and suffocating at the same time. Even more than most, I live my life at home traversing a very intentional and well-worn rut. I work out on the same three days of the week, on certain days of the week I carry out food from the same familiar places (Thursdays are soup night, don‘t you know?), etc. The upside of having a routine is that this mindless pattern saves a lot of wear and tear on the little gray cells. On the downside, however, life lived in this fashion can slowly and silently suck your bones dry of the marrow of inspiration and spontaneity.

When people ahead of you in the grocery store line start to become irritating, double-wide barriers between you and the checkout counter and when smiling starts to require way more energy than you are willing to expend, perhaps the time has come to book your next cruise (from one of our expert agents, of course) on the Liberty of the Seas. As I write these words, I am sitting in Liberty’s Café Promenade sipping a cappuccino and reflecting on seven ways in seven days to become liberated on a Royal Caribbean cruise.

Liberated To Eat Like A Gourmand

When it comes to food and vacation, rationalization is a beautiful thing.  You can devour everything that comes within an arm’s reach and tell yourself it doesn’t really count, you are on vacation after all.  The great thing about cruising with Royal Caribbean is that the quantity, although voluminous, is somehow surpassed by the quality.

Here is a very important tip for those contemplating sailing on the Liberty of the Seas.  Belly up to the bar . . . a rather apt figure of speech . . .  and buy the three dinner specialty restaurant package in advance.  It will save you a little money but, more importantly, getting to dine at Giovanni’s Table, Chops Grille and Sabor Modern Mexican will, I promise you, be the highlight of your cruise.

 

The up charge is modest, the food is divine, the service impeccable and the ambience intimate and inviting.  I loved all three but I suppose if I had to choose a favorite it would be Sabor.  This comes from someone who is not a raving fan of Tex-Mex (heresy for a Texan, I know).  But Sabor offers is authentic modern Mexican cuisine.  They make the guacamole tableside as well as the margaritas!  Nadia Guevara, the manager, is a true delight (pictured above with my bride) and above, as well, you can see Cocoa making one mean margarita.

Liberated To Imbibe Like A Connoisseur

When it comes to adult beverages, the great thing is you don’t even need to  rationalize!  Here is another little tip.  When you first get on the ship, you can purchase a wine package with several bottles of wine.  If you don’t finish one, you can have the remainder brought to you the next evening, regardless of where you are dining.  If you don’t consume all the wine during the trip, as we didn’t, you can bring the rest home with you.

One evening at dinner, as we were about to order our wine (you get to choose from a list of about 15 wines), the head waiter, Lucian, told is it was not necessary.  He said someone had provided a bottle for us.  He then raved about the quality of the wine, a 2013 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon pictured here.  We can confirm his estimation as we consumed the entire bottle over a long and lingering dinner!  So here is a special shout out to the benefactress whose name I will not mention both for fear of offending her modesty and also being accused of brazen name dropping.  Thank you for your gracious contribution to a wonderful evening.

Liberated To Indulge In Shameless Pampering

We rewarded ourselves for our numerous visits to the fitness center with a visit to the spa.  Let’s just say it is not exactly every day I am the recipient of a Swedish back message, energizing foot and ankle massage, relaxing scalp massage and a Men‘s Skin IQ MiniFacial.  I was very disappointed, though not completely surprised, to discover that my skin has a higher IQ than my brain!

The pampering extended to the way Kevin, our cabin steward, attended to our every whim.  (I am pretty sure we exceed our whim allotment the first couple of days.)  From tracking down a lost suitcase, to brightening our day with his towel art and much more, Kevin embodied the rock star treatment one unfailingly gets on a Royal Caribbean ship.

Liberated To Explore Like A Latter Day Columbus

Our cruise called at Cozumel, Georgetown, Grand Cayman and Falmouth, Jamaica. Among the score of offerings at each port of call, Royal Caribbean singles out these three for special recommendation:

• Cozumel – Explore the ruins of the ancient Mayan city of Tulúm, majestically perched above the turquoise Caribbean.
  
• Grand Cayman – Experience a once-in-a-lifetime adventure: snorkeling with stingrays at Stingray City Sandbar. These relatively tame creatures will swim right into your arms as they glide around you.
• Jamaica – One of Jamaica’s leading natural attractions, Dunn’s River Falls are terraced, giant limestone stairs, measuring about 180 feet tall and 600 feet long and plunging into the sea.

I would tell you all about these wonderful excursions were it not for the fact that we never ventured out of the fantastic dockside shopping areas each port offered.  From the picture above, you might say the one in Falmouth, Jamaica was conveniently situated!

Liberated To Shop Like Paris Hilton

Speaking of shopping, I was particular impressed with the incredible village in Falmouth, Jamaica with the bamboo stores and rum shops.  OK, we may have whiled away a couple of hours in this cute little rum shack.

You can purchase all manner of items in these shops.  You would be completely off base if you are picturing a Bahamas “Straw Market”.   In these shops, you can find diamonds, colored gemstones, jewelry, watches, gold, sterling silver, and even Oriental rugs.

Among my favorite places  were the bamboo stores where everything sold was made of bamboo.  They sell sheets that are softer than Egyptian cotton.  You can find shops offering everything from handicrafts to designer stores such as “C2K, Caribbean Hook, Honora, House of Tanzanite, John Hardy, Kabana, La Nouvelle Bague, Starnight, White Diamonds, Cartier, Concord, Maurice Lacroix, Michele, Movado and more”.

Liberated To Learn Like A Rhodes Scholar

You literally would not believe how many learning opportunities there are on board if you want to expand your horizons to match your growing waistline.  We both attended a cooking . . . and tasting . . . demonstration put on by Sabor where they demonstrated how to make some of their signature appetizers.   I did not join in on the cupcake decorating class, however, knowing my limitations full well.  Sampling is one thing, squeezing icing something else all together.

I was never able to work in the “Puffy eyes and dark circles” seminar.  Honestly, the whole subject sounded a little depressing anyway.   I wasn’t sure I wanted to surround myself with a room full of folks who felt a pressing need for that information!

 

Liberated To Transform Former Strangers Into Fast Friends

When we are at home, we seldom approach strangers and when we do, they usually assume we want to sell them something. OK, by way of full disclosure, in my case that is usually true. I tend to place people into two important categories: potential cruisers or possible land tourists. Non-travelers are, truth to say, passing blips on the radar screen.

When you are on a cruise, total strangers have a way of becoming Facebook friends on the elevator somewhere between deck five and eleven. You find yourself asking the couple at the next table at dinner where they are from and, no matter what answer they give, it triggers some long suppressed genius for free association. You will immediately discover what seems (for the moment at least) like a providential connection fated by a mysterious higher power.

Isn’t the time long overdue for you to discover you own seven ways in seven days to liberation?  In spite of the length of this post (my apologies), I have only scratched the surface.  To experience all this for yourself, trade in your frustration at home for liberation at sea.

Royal Caribbean’s Royal Suite Class: Best, Bester, Bestest

My abject apology to English grammarians around the world (or better yet, across the seas) for trampling upon their sacrosanct rules governing comparatives and superlatives.  I was an English major myself so, for what it’s worth, my sin . . . while no doubt mortal in their eyes . . . was at least not committed unconsciously.  The reason for the title is simply that the time-worn phrase “Good, Better, Best” just doesn’t cut the mustard in this instance.  Shall I explain?  Indeed, I shall.

Royal Caribbean International next May will launch a newly enhanced luxury at sea program called the “Royal Suite Class”.  This program offers three levels of delicious self-indulgence.  Picture yourself standing on the spacious balcony of one of these suites as I was just a few days ago on the Anthem of the Seas.  Your gaze quite naturally falls first upon the glistening sea below, then rises to the brilliant sky above and finally, as twilight falls, to the luminous panoply of stars beyond.  Thus, the names of the three tiers almost begged from the beginning to be known as Sea Class, Sky Class and Star Class.  See how easy this all is when you have moi to guide you by the hand!

THE BEST:  SEA CLASS

Something all three classes have in common is access to the Coastal Kitchen, a dining option exclusively for suite guests and Pinnacle members.  Think a fusion of Mediterranean coastline and California farmland.  They pretty much had me when I read about ” . . . Med-inspired tastes like Serrano ham, whipped goat cheese and roasted grapes.”  Granted “whipped” and “roasted” sounds a little violent from the food’s point of view but I am pretty sure you will enjoy the results!

This particular class has one category perfect for families.   On the Quantum Class of ships, the Family Connected Junior Suite provides the greatest number of guests in connecting rooms of any suite configuration.  It provides space for up to 10 guests!

I am desperately trying to picture nine other friends,  relatives or even passing acquaintances willing to share that level of intimacy with me and so far I am drawing a blank.  If you find yourself both wealthier and more popular than your humble scribe (not a high bar), you will just have to move up to the Star Class on one of the Oasis class ships where the Four Bedroom Family Suite sleeps fourteen!

All three classes of suites afford access to two other fantastic features.  The first is the suite lounge where you will enjoy 24-hour access to this intimate setting which offers complimentary breakfast and evening drinks.  Secondly, you can recline in the comfort of a plush lounge chair and bask under the Caribbean sun in a private Sun Deck reserved just for you . . . well, you and a handful of other discriminating suite guests.

EVEN BESTER:  SKY CLASS

This year has been a pretty good year for you, all things considered.  Are you ready to take it up a notch?  If you have ever stayed in a five-star hotel, you know the value of a great concierge.  When you book this class, your exclusive concierge will assist you in booking priority reservations and theater seats.

Take a look at all the suite benefits and concierge services that are at your disposal.  You haven’t been pampered like this since you first learned as an infant to scream your head off in the middle of the night sending your parents scurrying about like the fire alarm just went off.

ABSOLUTE BESTEST:  STAR CLASS

If you book the Star Class, you receive  all the amenities listed in the chart above PLUS unlimited beverage package, complimentary specialty restaurants, in-suite hand crafted cocktail service, complimentary minibar, Nespresso coffee maker service, complimentary fitness class, complimentary in-suite movies, daily gratuities included, Duxiana mattress, and Frette linens, towels and robes.

 

With all those inclusions, I have saved the bestest for lastest.  For the Star Class guests, Royal Caribbean is introducing something called the Royal Genie Service.   The concept is not just to attend to your every need and desire (legal and moral, let me qualify) but to actually anticipate them.  The rumor is that these future genies are being trained even as we speak at the London School of Mental Telepathy.

To summarize, the Royal Suite program will be available on two classes of ships:  the Oasis Class and the Quantum Class.  There are three tiers of suites:  Sea Class, Sky Class and Star Class.  Finally there are sixteen different categories of suites such as Royal Lofts and Owner’s Suite.

I beg you, don’t try to sort this out all on your own.  You will only bruise your precious little gray cells.  Instead, reach our to one of our Royal Caribbean experts.  Why not let your Royal Genie service begin with the booking process?

Quantum: Debutante Of The Seas

Those of you who hang on my every word . . . assuming for the sake of this post that such hapless souls really exist . .  will no doubt recall that last August I was privileged to see Quantum of the Seas in her gawky, gangly, pre-teen stage. Not to be uncharitable, she was displaying some serious zits back then.  You don’t have to take my dubious word for it.  Just look through these prepubescent pictures.  (The last 27 at the bottom are the new ones of the completed ship.)

All of us who took that tour of the Meyer Werft shipyard in Papenburg, Germany last August voiced the same unshakable conviction: there was no way on God’s green earth that this ship was going to be presentable to the public come November. And yet, I was completely, if uncharacteristically, wrong!  I know, I am every bit as shocked as you are!

Yet, here I sit at Michael’s Genuine Pub penning these words while sipping a brewsky and reveling in Quantum’s debutante ball. For those unfortunate readers who may not flutter about in high society like some of us social butterflys, a debutante is ” a girl or young lady from an aristocratic or upper class family who has reached the age of maturity and, as a new adult, is introduced to society at a formal ‘debut’ presentation.”  I have a little sage advice for you young guys out there. Tread carefully when pulling the pigtails of your best friend’s freckle-faced kid sister.  Some awkward teens grow up to be ravishing young ladies!

There is simply neither space nor time here to detail all the innovative features and fascinating facets of this amazing ship.  Speaking of time and space, did you know that Albert Einstein wrote a book about space . . .  and it’s about time too.  (Sorry, I really can’t help myself.  It must be genetic.)

Here is one of Quantum’s more fascinating features.  This is the Bionic Bar which mixes you a drink, delivers it to you and then listens to your marital woes (although personally, I must say, I found the one on the right to be a trifle aloof and diffident.)

Since we can’t cover everything here, if you are interested in knowing more about:

1)  the back story regarding how this entire series of blog posts came to be, click here.

2)  the trip to Germany, the PreCab Cabin tour and the big “Reveal”, click here.

3)  The amazing technology behind smart check-in, the on-board app, the WOW bracelet, the incredible wifi bandwidth and more click here.

4)  The concept of Dynamic Dining, the wide array of dining options, the North Star and Ripcord by iFly, click here.

5) the average bmi of an adult African aardvark, I don’t have a clue where you should click!

Who is that mysterious woman sipping a latte in the Royal Esplanade?  Why, I do believe it is Vicki Freed, Royal Caribbean’s Senior Vice President of Sales, Trade Support and Service.  I interviewed her for this blog a while back . . . and yes, she is that incredibly generous with her valuable time.   Click on the image, or here, to listen to that interview.

One of the dining venues created by Devin Alexander, New York Times best-selling author and media personality, is called “Devinly Decadence”.  For me, while the cuisine definitely pleased the palate, at first hearing the name jarred the sensibilities.  I was all prepared to dredge up grammatical technicalities from my English major past regarding which parts of speech properly modify one another, not to mention spelling, when it finally dawned on me that the name of the venue was not “divinely” but rather eponymous, a take on her name Devin.  OK, so the little gray cells don’t fire as rapidly as they once did!

To tie a final bow on this five-part series on the Quantum Of The Seas, this royal debutante has blossomed into a regal mistress of the high seas.  I have no doubt but that she will delight her guests of all ages and for many years to come.

One final note.  As I arose from my table at Michael’s and strolled down the Royal Esplanade, my ear was caught by the lilting voice of a young women emanating from inside Boleros.

As I stood at the door and gazed inside, it was obviously the speech of a newly minted fifteen year old young princess at her Quinceañera, roughly the Latin American equivalent of our debutante ball.    As I listened to her excited but quivering voice, I could not help but smile and think to myself,  “How perfectly apropos!”

Quantum of the Seas: Dining, Diversion and Difficult Decisions!

Back when the book I’m OK, You’re OK by Thomas Anthony Harris was all the rage (I know, I am dating myself), I ran across this little ditty.

“I’m OK, You’re OK, OK is what we both are,
But as between the two of us, I’m more OK than you are.”

That fairly well sums up my misguided, even slightly delusional, outlook on life.  “Keep moving, nothing abnormal to look at here, Bub.”

However, I will be the first to admit that I do have a slight psychic tic when in comes to making decisions.  Thank goodness men’s attire has become less formal.  You have no idea how much time that has saved me standing in front of my impressive rack of neckties in the morning unable to pull the trigger.

If you share this particular character flaw, you may need to solicit a little professional help in planning out your Quantum of the Seas vacation.  (Our folks are excellent at helping with that, by the way.)  To shamelessly paraphrase Winston Churchill’s famous quote about Russia, the Quantum of the Seas offers choices, wrapped in options, inside of alternatives!  Fasten your seat belt because we are about to go around the ship in 800 words.

DYNAMIC DINING

First, you must grasp the concept of dynamic dining which, fortunately, is so strikingly simply that even I got it on the first try.   The concept is to offer a mind-boggling array of delectable yet distinctive cuisine within an alluring variety of settings and ambiance served up when and how you choose.  For the first time on a cruise ship you have ultimate flexibility and control of your dining decisions.   For someone who can’t touch their toes with a yardstick and whose life has been careening like a steel ball in a pinball machine for decades, flexibility and control would be nice!

There are eighteen dining venues from which to choose.   What is particularly exciting is that, in addition to the specialty signature restaurants you have come to expect, there are five unique full-service restaurant options that are all complimentary and sans reservations!  Those are American Icon Grill, Chic, Silk, The Grande Restaurant and Coastal Kitchen.  To learn about some of the other eighteen options, simply click here .

Another exciting aspect of dynamic dining are these three celebrity chefs:  Jamie Oliver (Jamie’s Italian), Michael Schwartz (Michael’s Genuine Pub) and Devin Alexander  (Divinely Decadence at Solarium Bistro) all working their magic under the watchful eye of Cornelius Gallagher, Director of Culinary Operations at Royal Caribbean International.

If you would like to watch a brief video that perfectly encapsulates the themes I have just been sounding, simple click here.

DRAMATIC DIVERSIONS

For some people a perfect vacation is defined as doing nothing.  I think Royal Caribbean must have had a completely different set of folks in mind when they built the Quantum of the Seas, i.e., the ones whose definition of a perfect vacation is doing everything!  If the ultimate aim of taking a vacation is to escape the ordinary and experience the extraordinary, this ship has struck a center bulls-eye.

What kind of diversions would you find on the perfect cruise ship?  Hmmm . . . let’s dream a moment.

The perfect ship would have an “intimate, jewel-shaped capsule” that gently ascends over 300 feet above sea level offering “breathtaking views of the ocean, the ship, and the exciting destinations.”   That would be North Star.

                                                       The  ideal ship would also have a magical indoor space where you can indulge in your favorite activities like crashing bumper cars, roller skating like we did way back when, shooting a little hoops with a pick-up team or attending a circus school where you learn the ancient craft of the flying trapeze.  I know, let’s call it SeaPlex!

As long as we are brainstorming, let’s go way out on a limb.  In fact, forget the limb altogether.  Let’s create a way to experience the exhilaration (or in my case, sheer terror) of skydiving without committing the insanity of jumping out of a perfectly sound plane!  You will be floating on air in no time . . . literally . . .  thanks to Ripcord by iFly.

I promised you 800 words and I am getting perilously close.  I haven’t even mentioned Two70, Dreamworks, the Royal Loft or Music Hall.   If you have been paying attention, as I know you always do, it has no doubt begun to dawn on you.  If your humble scribe can’t decide which features to highlight, how are you going to figure out where to eat and what to do?  Not to worry, mon ami.   We have an army of people (OK, probably more like somewhere between a squad and a small platoon) that are eager to assist you.  You aren’t alone in your quest for adventure.

And with that, this is the 800th word: Cheers!

Quantum Of The Seas: Smartest Ship On The Seas Six Ways To Sunday

I have an embarrassing admission to make.   I have long harbored a secret (note I did not say laudatory) desire to be widely recognized by my associates as “the smartest person in the room.”  It has taken quite some time, intensive therapy and, it goes without saying, a mountain of irrefutable evidence for me to arrive at last to a place of serene acceptance.  I now freely acknowledge that the only time that phrase can be applied to me with complete veracity are those occasions when I step into a my hall closet to retrieve my wind breaker.

By way of stark contrast, Quantum of the Seas is indisputably “the smartest ship on the seas” six ways to Sunday.  If you are unfamiliar with that idiom, basically it means “every way possible, thoroughly, completely.”  (If you are a linguistic junkie like me, click here for a full explanation of why there are six ways to get to Sunday.)

As mentioned in my previous post, I was an eyewitness to the Quantum of the Seas reveal held in the Meyer Werft shipyard in Papenburg, Germany on Monday, August 25th.  If you would like to view the full-blown (full-blown as in the one-hour, twelve plus minute) version, pop some popcorn, pour yourself a giant root beer float, fully extend the Lazy Boy recliner and click here.  It is very entertaining, actually.  If, however, you prefer the Denton abridged version, succinctly summarized and meticulously hyperlinked,  read away.

SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY

1)  SMART Check-In

As explained by Richard Fain, RCCL’s Chariman and CEO, the first inclination was to make check-in easier.  The second thought was, “Let’s just eliminate it.”  I like the way these people think!

The process begins with entering all your documentation online at home before you even begin your trip (but after you have booked it with a travel professional).  You can even take a selfie and upload your own picture.  You will then receive digital boarding confirmation.  When you get to the ship, you print out a boarding pass and a crew member simply swipes your passport and scans your bar code as you board the ship.  The goal is “sidewalk to shipboard” in ten minutes.

Would you like to know more about the RFID (radio frequency identification) luggage tracking system that allows you to know when your luggage has been delivered to your room?  Are you eager to learn about RFID WOW bands, i.e., wristbands that facilitate navigation of the ship and onboard purchases?  Read More

2)  SMART Concierge

Again, this process begins at home with Royal Caribbean’s newly updated Cruise Planner.  Some people are spontaneous free-spirits that like to be blown along like a leaf on a blustery fall day.  OK, that would not be me.  I am more the type that gets very anxious just after lunch if I don’t have a clear plan for dinner.

Cruise Planner was designed for type-A’s like me who want to scope out the many dining options within “Dynamic Dining” (more about that next post), evaluate options for shore excursions and book my pedicure (just kidding, I am more of the full body massage type).  But what about when you get on the ship?  Someone should come up with an app for that.  Oops, RCCL just did.  It is called Royal IQ and it does amazing things.  How amazing?  Read More

3)  SMART Connect

Anyone who has ever cruised knows just how frustrating an issue connectivity has always been on every cruise line, including Royal Caribbean.  You could spend a nice down payment on a Harvard education just trying to connect.  Of all these six ways to Sunday innovations, the one I am about to describe will undoubtedly be the biggest game changer of all.

Royal Caribbean has partnered with O3b, a fascinating company in its own right, to deliver connectivity that is several times faster with hundreds of times the bandwidth than has been possible in the past.  This is done by means of a satellite directed beam that literally follows the ship along its route.  This means you will be be able to stream videos, Skype, Facetime and perform all the other functions you are used to on land.

Before we leave the subject of technology, by way of an insight into the soul of Royal Caribbean and not just bits and bytes, Richard Fain announced that RCCL is giving every crew member on every ship in the fleet a Windows tablet amounting to over 40,000 free tablets!  These hard-working folks spend months away from their families and these tablets, combined with the improved connectivity, will mean the world to them in terms of staying in touch.

If you want to be blown away (figuratively, of course), just watch this video.  View More

4)  SMART Experience

OK, fair warning.  It is not going to be possible to treat this subject in any detail here.  We are talking Two70, robotic entertainment, virtual balconies, North Star, RipCord by iFly, SeaPlex, bumper cars, roller skating, Bionic Bar and much, much more. But if you come back soon . . . I have always longed to have a repeat visitor . . . I promise we will explore both entertainment and dining in great detail.

For now I will simply mention that Two70 is one of the most amazing venues ever created on land or sea.  The name comes from the floor to ceiling glass windows that offer a 270 degree panoramic view of the surroundings; windows that can transform themselves into giant screens.   Eighteen 8k hi-def projectors will be able to create an amazing ambiance turning the room in a matter of seconds into a rain forest or a famous cityscape.

Are you ready to view another amazing video?  View More

5)  SMART Service

Royal Caribbean has always been renowned for their service but they are adding custom apps that will permit crew members to better accommodate guests’ preferences and peccadillos.  Do you prefer gluten-free dining or your dry martini shaken not stirred (in which case you are having severe James Bond delusions)?  Crew members are now equipped to cater to your every whim.

6)  SMART Sustainability

One of the more interesting aspects of this category was the reveal that this will be the first cruise ship to fully use an air lubrication system where the ship literally floats on a tiny layer of microscopic bubbles which coat the hull and reduce friction.  There are 66,000, give or take, light bulbs on the ship and not one is incandescent.  They even freeze the garbage so it can be recycled upon reaching port versus going into a landfill.

Time has overtaken us.  As I mentioned last time, all the pictures I took on my adventure can be viewed here.  Until next time, travel safe.  Your addiction to these spellbinding posts can be our little secret. Hey, you’re only human.

A Quantum Leap(frog)

Over the past several days, I have been standing in tall cotton . . . as we are wont to say in the south.  Just consider these three fortuitous and unexpected events.  First, as mentioned in my previous post, I was one of five travel professionals selected from a pool of more than five hundred entrants to accompany approximately seventy other folks from the travel industry and the media on a special charter flight to Papenburg, Germany.  Our express purpose was to take a sneak peek at the soon to be launched Quantum of the Seas and later on the Anthem of the Seas.

A quick shout out to Miami Air. The food was both abundant and delicious and the service impeccable. Thanks for a great ride!

Secondly, in the departure lounge, my name was randomly drawn from among the four other contest winners for a seat in business class. Finally, upon arrival, we were dispersed to various small hotels and I was dropped off at the Arkadanhaus Papenburg. This beautiful boutique hotel had only been opened two weeks.  No guest had ever slept in my room which pretty much eliminates all possibility of bed bugs (assuming I am not a carrier, of course!)  and was situated on the canal in the picturesque heart of the city.  Our hotel soon became the envy of the other participants.

In some circles of Christian theology, there is a doctrine called “dying grace” which holds that pious Christians who depart this life somewhat precipitously (as opposed to a protracted illness, for example) are often granted a few particularly glorious days just prior to their demise. My wife’s uncle, for example . . .  a true saint . . . was called home during a peaceful sleep following an especially memorable family Thanksgiving gathering a few years back.

Now when you consider that I will soon be boarding a flimsy aluminum tube where I will be careening through the lower levels of the stratosphere at 500 plus miles per hour over a vast ocean, I am sincerely hoping that the items catalogued above merely represent a run of Las Vegas style good luck rather than my personal experience of  “dying grace”.  I’m not quite ready, Uncle Murray!

Starting with the previous post and for the next several, I will devote my modest literary talents to bringing you along on my whirlwind 48 hour touchdown to lift-off odyssey. My challenge will to be to distill a barrel of fun into a few drops of valuable insight. Given the enormity of the task, you will find embedded in some of these posts a very liberal sprinkling of hyperlinks. In that fashion, what catches your fancy here can be perused in detail at your leisure.

Let’s begin, shall we, with the title? Merriam-Webster defines a quantum leap  as “a sudden large change, development, or improvement.”  A quantum leapfrog is both coined and defined by your humble squire as “any sudden large change, development, or improvement that leaves your competition whimpering like a small child lost in the food court of the neighborhood mall.”  Royal Caribbean has thrown down the gauntlet and it remains to other cruise lines to accept the challenge. Those other cruise lines are in the unenviable position of having just watched RCCL vault over them in this multi-billion dollar game of leapfrog as if their feet were planted in concrete.

The remainder of this post, as well as subsequent posts on this subject, will be devoted to demonstrating the veracity of this admittedly bold assertion.

German Engineering

If you want a watch made, you go to Switzerland. If you want a world class ship built, you hire the Germans. You should take a moment and read this brief history of the Meyer Werft shipyard. Upon our arrival, we lunched in a building converted from the former Meyer Werft factory replete with the original moveable cranes overhead.

Following lunch, we toured the Ems PreCab Cabin Factory. Did you know that every cabin (some 2000 or so) will be built as a separate module and delivered to the ship to be inserted into its precise location? Nor did I. They have borrowed from the automotive industry the concept of a slow-moving (v e r y  s l o w  m o v i n g) assembly line where workers sequentially apply their own expertise. The picture on the left is Vicki Freed, Senior Vice President of Sales and Trade Support & Services, and your humble servant about to enter the factory.  It speaks volumes about Vicki’s generosity in risking her stellar reputation by allowing her photo to be taken with moi!

Following the visit to the PreCab factory, we moved over to the Meyer Werft shipyard’s Laser Hall and the Block Assembly and Building Hall where we saw the Anthem of the Seas in an earlier stage of construction. These great ships are built in sections and joined together with a very strong, water-resistant superglue. OK, I made up that last bit.

At 4:00 pm, sensing that sleep deprivation and our forced march were threatening to render us comatose, they allowed us to park our weary carcasses for the highlight of the day, the live web cast “Reveal” staring RCCL’s own Chairman of the Board Richard Fain and technology guru David Pogue. “And what exactly did they reveal?”, I know you are dying to ask.  I will tell you . . . next time.  That is what those in the news biz call “a tease”.   For those who were hoping for a detailed listing of the many virtues of the Quantum of the Seas,  just watch for the next post.  The Quantum tour was day two of our trip.

Here is a quick summary of the remainder of day one. Enjoyed a very nice dinner. Crashed and burned. Awoke half an hour later to the ear-piercing sound of fireworks being set off directly outside my window which thunderous racket in my stupor I somehow wove into a dream about a surprise Russian invasion of the Ukraine. Let’s all pray that part was just a bad dream.

If you would like to see all the pictures I took on my trip, click here.  Now is your chance to participate by taking this short survey.

Let The Anticipation Begin!

Would you like to hear the Denton theorem regarding a universal trait seemingly shared by every intrepid soul in the travel business?   (By way of  warning, unless you hit delete immediately, you are about to.)  So, here it is.  As much as we enjoy reminiscing about the past and reveling in the present, our secret passion is anticipating the future.

As Edward Streeter put it, “”Travel is ninety per cent anticipation and ten per cent recollection.”  Sometimes this affliction is so acute that we actually catch ourselves in the midst of one glorious travel experience dreaming about the next.  Admittedly, that is a little sad.

But here is another great travel insight (I am just full of them today, or as  some would say, just full of it.).  As much as we enjoy anticipating the next experience, for better or worse, it seldom turns out quite the way we expect.  The brilliant Benjamin Disraeli once observed, “What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expected generally happens.”   That, however, is precisely what makes travel so rewarding.  If it were predictable, it wouldn’t be an adventure, don’t you see?.

So what has prompted all this philosophical musing on my part, you may (or may not) be asking yourself.  As it happens, I am brimming over with keen anticipation as I stand on the precipice of another travel odyssey. Frankly, like so many of my travel exploits, I am indebted to one of my favorite travel partners, in this case Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines.

A couple of weeks back, RCCL announced a contest where travel professionals were invited to submit an essay of 100 words or less explaining why they were “Loyal to Royal”.  I quickly realized that I can merely sneeze and expectorate at least 100 words, so I decided to enter.

To cut to the chase, five executives at RCCL headquarters were obviously feeling particularly magnanimous that day because miraculously, I was one of the five winners selected from over 500 entries!. Here is my entry.

Loyalty, like faith, is never sounder than its intended object. No amount of fanatical belief will support a heavy man standing on thin ice. I am “Loyal to Royal” in part because I have confidence in their consistent product, respect for their professional staff and agreement with their strategic vision. A much more important reason for my loyalty, however, is simply that across the span of twenty-eight years the foundation of my faith has never seen so much as a fissure. When one’s own commitment is consistently reciprocated and one’s trust proves entirely justified, loyalty comes very easily indeed!

The prize was a trip tp Papenburg, Germany to the Meyer Werft ship yard for a sneak peek at the soon to be launched  Quantum of the Seas. The trip will be hosted by Vicki Freed, RCCL’s Senior Vice President Sales and Trade Support & Service and Joanne Schimelman, Vice President of National Accounts.  I interviewed Vicki on this very blog a while back which you can read and listen to here.

As I pen these words, I am wending my way at 30,000 feet to Miami. Tomorrow around 1:00 pm we board a special Miami Air charter for Germany.  I invite you to follow along over the next few days as I chronicle my journey and publicly post many pictures beyond even those on this blog.

In a sense we have come full circle.  I venture forth not knowing who else will be participating, where we will be lodging or the seating configuration of our silver chariot. If you imagine that I find these little gaps in my knowledge disconcerting, you need to go back and reread the first two paragraphs. The mystery only augments the anticipation.

I learned long ago that it is not getting there that is half the fun.  Thinking about being there . . . now that is half the fun!