Havana, Cuba: City of Contrasts

Until recently, I shared a personal trait with the majority of Americans.   I am not referring to my comical fantasy about winning the lottery.  (Unfortunately, I still cling to that pathetic delusion.)  Rather, I am talking about the fact that I had never been to Cuba but had always wanted to.

Like so many others, I wanted to visit Cuba before the American invasion that will inevitably occur if all barriers to access are ever removed.   When I was invited to participate in a Travel Leaders Owners’ Cruise that included a stop in Cuba, I leaped at the chance.  As it turned out, we were only in Cuba one full day and late into the evening.  I can claim to no longer be a Cuba virgin but hardly a Cuba Casanova, so take my limited  observations with a chaser of Cuban rum.

Keep in mind I was part of a group sharing an itinerary.  The day and evening we spent there can be divided into three parts:  a morning walking tour, an afternoon coach ride to Finca Vigia, Ernest Hemingway’s farm (among other stops) and a dinner at the famous Havana restaurant Paladar San Cristobal.  So I invite you to don your Guajiro straw fedora and Guayabera shirt or your Bata Cubana dress, as you prefer, and join me for a whirlwind Rumba down the backstreets of Havana.

The Morning Walking Tour

When I say, as I do in my title, that Havana is a city of contrasts I mean that both internally and externally.  The first contrast with the US that practically runs you over (and will if you are not exceedingly carefully when crossing the streets), is the ubiquitous nature of the 1950’s cars.  From the moment you exit the cruise port and customs hall and cross the street to the Plaza of San Francisco, the first thing you notice is all the vintage automobiles zipping about.  Not all are as well maintained as this one but for someone who remembers the 50’s (as recounted to me by my Grandfather, or course), the wave of nostalgia was palpable.

As you might imagine, a country as poor as Cuba forces the populace to capitalize (note the irony) on the tourists in any way possible.  The expectation of tips is not exactly subtle from the street performers of various stripes to the attendants outside every toilet.  If you merely glance, you may be forgiven.  If you pause, however, to appreciate or certainly to snap a picture, it is is expected that your free hand will be reaching for a small gratuity.   In pointing this out, I am not acting as a critic, simply a chronicler.

 

As we wended our way through the narrow streets, an internal contrast emerged between a few relatively well maintained edifices (mostly of government, historical or touristic importance) and the majority of buildings in various degrees of disrepair, if not more accurately, dilapidation.

Without a doubt, my three favorite stops along the way were the Hotel Ambos Mundos where Ernest Hemingway famously occupied a room on the 5th floor, a nameless sidewalk cafe where the group paused for a Cuban coffee (that, parenthetically, ripped off the already paltry number of chest hairs I could previously boast) and best of all, a stop at the La Bodeguita del Mundo.

If you are conversant with Spanish you might have guessed that this bar began as a small store before it graduated to the most famous bar in Havana.

In actuality, this modest little tavern has not one, but two claims to fame (however dubious they may be).   It was the haunt of many famous people, while among them is purported to be Ernest Hemingway.  I will leave it to others to determine if the inscription inside the bar, “My mojito is La Bodeguita, my daiquiri is El Floridita” with his signature beneath is genuine or a forgery.  The same may be said for the claim that my drink of choice, the Rum and Coke or Cuba Libre, was invented here by US soldiers who cut the strong Cuban rum with Coca Cola to slow down the rush to inebriation.  Some stories are just too good to be questioned!

I am not normally one to buy souvenirs but when you run across the first car you ever owned by yourself, how can you resist.  I believe when I bought the car the color was blue but I almost immediately plopped down the $39.95 (yes, the decimal is in the right place) with Maaco (as I recall) to have the entire car painted this exact shade of yellow (unlike the two tone below).  When I turned into the school parking lot, I wanted to turn all the girls’ heads, which I accomplished.  I just didn’t realize they would be heaving at the same time.

 

As usual, I have waxed eloquent (or maybe just waxed) to the point where common decency demands I bring this little post to a merciful close.  But before you imagine you have escaped my Cuba musings permanently, think again.  We are just up to noon.  We haven’t even had lunch at the Gran Hotel Manzana Kempinski yet.   So tune in next time for the coach ride to Hemingway’s farm and our night on the town at San Cristobal.

If you really enjoyed this first post, you can buy me a rum and coke when we reconvene!

 

 

 

Costa Rica … Not To Mention Clima Rica, Cultura Rica And Café Rico

By some strange twist of fate, I have been to Australia nearly 20 times, the same for England and probably closer to 100 times to Mexico.   (Before you work yourself into a lather with overwrought envy, I will remind you that long ago I quite consciously traded treasure for travel, i.e. paltry money, powerful memories.  (See Memories Are Made Of This.)  Until this past week, however, I had never been to Costa Rica.  No doubt, were it not for my dear friends at Funjet Vacations, that would still be the case.  Thankfully, and to many of you shockingly I am sure, I was invited along with a hundred or so of my closest friends to spend a few magical days there.

Costa Rica translates into English as rich coast.  As my title suggest, however, the coast is far from the only aspect of Costa Rica that is opulent.   Just gaze upon this sunset for a moment.  I took this picture at the Pacifico Beach Club just before one of our evening dinners.  It looks even more magnificent with a rum and coke in one hand.  It became immediately apparent, even to someone as certifiably clueless as me, why this venue was selected!

Just so you don’t embarrass yourself by attempting to swim around it, Costa Rica is not an island.  It is a Central American country that, like the US has an eastern and western coast.  There are several distinct tourist areas including Guanacaste, Arenal, Monteverde, Tortuguero, Central Pacific and San Jose.  Our excellent destination management company, CATours (as in Central American Tours but pronounced Cat Tours) has an excellent site with good information about various options.

Clima Rica

One of the most alluring attractions of Costa Rica is the incredible diversity of flora and fauna.  I have no idea what flora and fauna is, I just like saying it.  (Good thing I had never heard of those terms when I was struggling to name my two daughters.)  Just kidding, I really do know that it means plant and wildlife . . . or is it wildlife and plants?   Anyway, let’s not get lost wandering around that little tropical rain forest.

As one of my devoted readers, you must know by know I am an avid golfer.   Even so, this was my first experience trying to putt out with mantled howler monkeys lounging on the branches above me.  And in case you are wondering, they do howl . . . especially on your backswing.  This particular species apparently has a rather fiendish sense of humor.  According to a website called The Real Costa Rica, “Though Costa Rica covers only 0.03% of the surface of the earth, Costa Rica has approximately almost 6% of the world’s bio diversity.”    Click on the link above to read about Costa Rica’s 12 different climatic zones.

Cultura Rica

Guanacaste is not nearly so developed as many other resort destinations.  As an example, the ride from our hotel, the Riu Palace, to the Reserva Conchal Golf Course at the Westin Resort and Spa was an hour and twenty-minute ride over winding, narrow roads.  However, I was not in the least off put by that fact.  As an avid golfer, I would have walked that far to play another beautiful golf course (provided I had a caddie, of course).

More importantly, I viewed it as an opportunity to see the countryside.   OK, a lot of countryside.  Being my first trip, the last thing I wanted to do was spend the entire time at the resort, nice though it was. 

We were able to see lots of representative homes,  schools and stores, etc.  When we completed the round (the course record is still intact for those of you snarky enough to bring up my score), we had the option of heading directly back or visiting a little village called Tamarindo.  Forunately the driver had the good sense not to tell us it was in the opposite direction from our resort.

I would say Tamarindo is best described as a bohemian enclave populated by lost souls from the four corners of the world in search of inner serenity either through contemplation or puffing on various hand rolled medicinal fibers.  There are dive shops offering surfing lessons and, for the less adventurous, cafes with frothy cappuccinos and yummy flavors of ice cream.  I thought the Monkey ‘n Croc, pictured above, captured the ambiance nicely, even if by Tamarindo standards it is no doubt considered a bit haughty and pretentious.

Café Rico

Speaking of coffee, if you drink it by the barrel as I am prone to do (Starbucks should be sending me my stock certificates any day) the coffee is worth the price of the trip alone.  The reputation Costa Rica has for their coffee is, to say the least, well deserved.  My only complaint is that the word coffee should be feminine in Spanish, making the parallelism in my title ever so much more tidy!

One thing the Riu Palace resorts all seem to do well is put on a party.  For the closing event they transformed the Papagaya Steakhouse into a Costa Rican rain forest.  You wouldn’t believe the size of the butterflies in Costa Rica by the way!  Below are a couple of more pictures to give you a sense of the beauty of the property.

  

On my aforementioned coach ride to the golf course, we passed a small fenced-in school yard and I could not help but notice the handwritten sign, “Orgulloso de Ser Guanacastecos” . . . proud to be from Guanacaste.   Having now traveled to Costa Rica, I have no difficulty understanding that sentiment perfectly.  I would be “orgulloso” too!

Make Portugal Your Port O’ Call

One of the absolute best things about being in the travel business is getting to visit places I have never been before.  As Simon Raven said, “…life is short and the world is wide” so it is hardly surprisingly that there are still many places that my foot has yet to touch.

When the chance arose to do a Globus Journeys tour of Portugal and Spain, I was on it like an Anatidae on a Phyllophaga (or duck on a June bug as we say here in Texas).   The extent of my previous knowledge was limited to a vague awareness that some of the world’s best port comes from Portugal.

It took me about half an hour to be smitten like a junior high schoolboy with Lisbon and its environs.  One of my criteria for a great European city is that it must be walkable.   Every other mode of transportation, with the exception of one I am about to mention, moves too fast for my plodding little gray cells to absorb the surroundings.  Lisbon is eminently walkable if you have  a strategically located hotel like the Sofitel Liberdade Lisbon.   Turn right out the front door and you have before you a beautiful twenty minute walk down to the Tagus River.

Another option besides walking is the concept Lisbon has borrowed from Thailand called Tuk Tuks.  They can be found scurrying about everywhere like little pregnant motorcycles.  By sheer good fortune, we selected a Tuk Tuk driven by young lady named Teresa (a name shared by my wife) and whose father owns ColourTrip Lisbon.   She had recently started driving for her Dad and was a delightful hostess for her beautiful city.  You can do thirty minutes, an hour or two.  We did one hour and had her drop us off back at the hotel at the end of one of the most enjoyable sixty minutes in my recent memory.

One of the most striking things about Lisbon is the hills that offer some very impressive vantage points.  The locals know it as The City of the Seven Hills.   From a historical point of view, the most infamous event in Lisbon’s storied past, without question, was the cataclysmic trifecta known as the Earthquake of 1755.  Striking at 9:40 in the morning on Saturday, November 1st, All Saints  Day, it destroyed most of the city.  I called it a trifecta because it combined a horrific earthquake, a calamitous tsunami and  devastating fires that raged for five days.

Leaving on that less than cheery note, let’s recover our serenity with a glass of wine at the My Story Hotel.  Even though we stopped in a couple of times at their charming sidewalk cafe, I never did learn what their “story” was.  Maybe I was too awestruck by the modest prices.  Two nice glasses of Cabernet and a large bottle of water was eight Euros (about nine dollars).  That illustrates one of the most appealing things about Portugal and to a lesser degree Spain.  Due, no doubt, to its well publicized economic woes, everything seemed strikingly affordable, especially by European standards.

Another thing I found fascinating was the language.  Portuguese, of course, is one of the five romance languages all of which are largely based on Latin.  I have a passing familiarity with Spanish . . . by that I mean I can get into a conversation in Spanish, I just can’t ever get out . . . and assumed I would be able to pick up a little of the Portuguese banter.  That was not the case.  The “sh” sound is ubiquitous in Portuguese.  Portuguese, to my ear at least, sounds like a Czech school teacher shushing her class of students in Spanish with a decidedly French accent.  I had two separate native speakers tell me that they can understand virtually everything the Spanish say but the Spanish look at them as if they were speaking Mandarin Chinese!

I wish I had a dollar every time over the years I have been told to “put a cork in it.”  I am finally going to take that advice by putting a little cork in this blog post.  Did you know that Portugal produces over half the world output of commercial cork?  Of course you didn’t.  That would make you as smart as me and we can’t have that, now can we?

You may assume that all that cork goes just to stopping up wine bottles but you would be so wrong.  (I know, nothing is more obnoxious than some wise …  hmm, wiseacre with a bit of new knowledge.)  I will spare you my newly garnered insight into the cork tree growing process, fascinating thought it is.  In point of fact all sorts of products are made with cork such as my new cap and the wife’s new posh purse purchased in Portugal.  (Try saying that without pursing your lips!)

           

As usually, there is so much more to say but our journey beckons.  I will close with this bit of sage advice.  If you want to visit Europe and you’re looking for a place rich in history, gastronomy and hospitality but exceedingly kind to your pocketbook,  Portugal needs to be your next Port O’ Call.  That is, if you don’t mind being shushed all the time.

•  You can view all the pictures I took on this trip here.

Imbibing In Iberia (or if you prefer) Cuba Libre Continental Style

For the next several posts you will be transported through Portugal and Spain with a dash of London thrown in for flavor at the end.  You will not be boarding a luxury Globus motorcoach, as I recently did, but rather you will be borne along on the fluffy clouds of my velvety prose.

Those of you who live for my next pulsating post no doubt have noticed a dearth of such missives of late.  The explanation is as simple as it is depressive.  For the past few weeks I have been toiling like a serf rather than traveling like a sovereign.  Oh, the humanity!   I feel your compassion oozing across cyberspace even as I write these words but, take comfort, dear heart, I have learned how to steel myself against life’s injustices.

Thank goodness my interminable season of discontent ended on September 23rd when the wife and I boarded a British Airways flight bound for Lisbon by way of London.  Simply return to this site on a regular basis and you can follow along on my grand adventure.

Where to start?  Why don’t we begin with a theme that emerged quite by happenstance?  On the evening of the first full day in Lisbon, I wandered into the bar at the Sofitel Lisbon Liberdade (I am sure I was looking for the sundry store) when I decided to pause for an ever so modest libation.  I ordered a rum and coke, my cocktail of choice, and was quite delighted with the presentation.  So, I snapped a picture and posted this comment on my Facebook page:

“Every bar has a rum and coke. Leave it to the Sofitel Liberdade Lisbon to add the nuts, cranberries, olives AND a bowl for the pits!”

When we arrived to the Gran Melia Colon in Sevilla who would have guessed they also had a bar!  Is it my fault that they place the darn things so close to the sundry shops?  I ordered my customary drink and here is what they brought.

The post on Facebook read:

“OK, tonight’s rum and Coke in Seville #GranMeliaColon is served with orange slices, peanuts, chocolate and gumdrops.”

I thought this was a particularly nice glass.

I know my readers are unusually astute so no doubt you see the pattern developing here.  Unconsciously (which is, by the way, how I operate most of the time), I was developing my own metric for comparing the various hotels on our itinerary.  The pressure started to build to see if the next venue could rise to the rum and coke test.

Our third stop was at the Alhambra Palace Hotel in Granada. I suppose it is pointless at this juncture to pretend there was a sundry shop anywhere near the bar.  Anyway, I was on a mission.  I was not succumbing to self-indulgence, I repeatedly told myself, but rather performing scholarly research.

My Facebook post for the evening read:

“Tonight’s rum and coke at the Hotel Alhambra Palace in Granada comes with a sunset!”

Our fourth and final stop in Spain was at the Gran Melia Fenix in Madrid.  With my research pad in hand, I went in quest of the bar.  Have you ever noticed that in nice hotels the bars are hardly ever difficult to find?  The evening comment in Facebook read:

“The Gran Melia Fenix in Madrid offers dark rum and coke with green cherries and a beautiful mural and red rose behind the bar.”

At this point, you might assume that our little rum and coke tour has mercifully ended but you would be wrong Spanish olive breath!   Unless you have been playing your own drinking game and downing a rum and coke every time I said the word “Facebook”, you might recall I mentioned that there was a brief stop in London at the end.

Our final two nights were spent at the One Aldwych.  My final Facebook post (time for another swig, game players) read:

“Tonight’s rum and coke at ‪#‎onealdwych‬ London features black cherries, green olives, nuts & the most cosmopolitan city in the world!”

Now we really have reached the end.  What would research be, however, without a scientific poll?  Here is your chance to participate.

You can view all the pictures I took on this trip here.

Be sure to come back soon and we will visit each of these spectacular hotels and much of the Portuguese and Spanish countryside.  It will be fun, I promise . . . especially if you bring your own rum and coke!

Casa De Campo: Mere Resort or More Destination?

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, among others, is credited with coining the aphorism, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  My sincere hope is that he, or whoever authored that phrase, was simply having a bad day and peevishly overstated the case.  I don’t know too many of us who want to be found lazily strolling down the “broad road which leads to destruction”.

Way back on June 2nd, when I published another of my literary gems, “Bit On The Bum By The Teeth Of The Dog”, I had every good intention of following it up in short order with a sequel on Casa De Campo.  I even promised as much.  Life, as it has a habit of doing, managed to intervene.  Sound theology reminds us that true repentance involves not only contrition but a corresponding course correction.  This blog post is my humble attempt to make amends for my tardiness.

 CASA DE CAMPO

For those unfamiliar with this property, Casa De Campo is, as I suggest in my title, best understood not so much as a resort but rather a full-blown destination. It is situated in La Romana on the southeast coast of the Dominican Republic and is accessible  by at least ten different airlines flying into either La Romana, Santo Domingo or Punta Cana.

Even as I pen these words,  a large map is spread out across my desk called the “Resort Overview”.  Honestly, I am feeling a bit of vertigo as I try to soak it all in.  My eyes dart between the polo grounds and La Marina, from the seaside “Teeth of the Dog” golf course to the hilltop “Dye Fore” layout, from oceanfront villas to the shooting club to the shops of Altos De Chavon.  It is all rather dizzying.

As a quick aside, don’t you just hate it when people use your image without your permission as was so obviously done above.  Here I was simply trying to collect my thoughts after a tough polo match and the paparazzi could not grant me even a moment of serenity.  $%*& press!

There is a fascinating history to the place which you can read here.  There is not sufficient time or space to recount the story now but it begins with a young Alvaro Carta fleeing communist Cuba in 1960.  If you want to find out how a sugar plantation, the famed golf architect Pete Dye, the crooner Frank Sinatra, the renowned restaurateur Siro Maccioni and the designer Oscar de la Renta are all woven into the history, you will just have to go back and click on the little blue “here” above.

Let’s assume for the moment that you are the type of vacationer who requires constant stimulation to avoid boredom.  If that describes you, rest assured, Casa De Campo will be your nirvana, paradise, heaven, shangri-la or land o’goshen on earth (take your pick).

There are three polo fields (I have no idea how you will get a horse into the overhead compartment), a 245 acre shooting facility (don’t even think about stuffing a shotgun down your pants leg) and 90 holes of golf (the airlines will allow you to check golf clubs but only after they clear out your retirement account).

This resort . . .  I mean destination . . .has more villas than an Italian count can count, including this little humble abode above called Villa Las Ondinas with a mere ten bedrooms.   I understand this particular villa is a big hit with strict, not to mention virile,  Catholics who take the pope’s views on birth control very seriously.

So where can such a large clan dine with a nice ocean view?  How about this locale where I took a leisurely lunch with a few of my close friends?  (I can only ascribe bad lighting and a quick shave to the fact that my picture here bears so little resemblance to my other picture above!)

I wish I had time to tell you about all the dining options like the Beach Club by Le Cirque or great bars like Punto & Corcho down by the marina.  If you love to shop, be sure and check out Altos de Chavon.  For some incredible excursion options, just click here.

I don’t know how much clicking through to the Casa De Campo website you have done to this point but I sent you there because it is the source of loads of helpful information about this “destination”.  However, when it comes to making an actually booking, there is only one place to go.   How could you live with yourself if after consuming this extraordinary content, you callously booked somewhere else?  If the road to hell really is paved with good intentions, bad intentions might well be the short cut!

Just a little something to think about when you are ready to book.

Bit On The Bum By The Teeth Of The Dog

If the expression “Golf is a good walk spoiled” (often misattributed to Mark Twain) sums up your view of the sport, you may want to return to my “What Did I Miss” page to find another subject more to your taste.  But if, as I do,  you have a love/hate  (90% love, 10% hate) relationship with this ancient Scottish game, this little post may strike a few familiar chords. 

I can sum up my take on the game of golf in one sentence, “It looks deceptively easy but is actually infuriatingly difficult.”  All those young Turks in the professional  ranks who bomb 300 yard drives with effortless power and complain, after shooting a round of 66 mind you, that they left a few birdies out there on the course don’t exactly make us mortals feel any better.

The absolute worst thing about the game is how your swing comes and goes, ebbs and flows not just over weeks or days but often in the course of the same round.  If an amateur golfer, even for one nano-second, allows himself or herself to think (or, God forbid, voice out loud) , “You know, I think I am beginning to get this game figured out”, he or she better scamper to the club house like a scalded cat before bolts of lightning start raining down out of a clear sky.  Let’s just say in my experience the golf gods are not in the least amused by even fleeting cockiness.

TEETH OF THE DOG

I was fortunate enough a few days ago to play this renowned Pete Dye ocean side course located within the famous Casa de Campo resort in the Dominican Republic (more about that momentarily).  Just two weeks earlier I was equally privileged to play the “White Witch” in Montego Bay, Jamaica, another classic layout.  Beyond finding a way to slip in this little “humble brag”, I mention it because that day I was striking the ball quite well . . . by my modest standards at least.  I shot a very respectable 86 and left feeling that my game was in pretty decent shape, thank you very much.

So I had every reason (except long experience and common sense) to think on the day I awoke to play the “Teeth of the Dog” that another nice ball striking day was ahead of me.  What I didn’t reckon on was that my driver, usually a very reliable and trustworthy friend, was going to turn on me like a jilted lover.  There is a driver out there called the “King Cobra” but even though my rental clubs were of a different make, I might as well have been attempting to drive the ball with the head of a live cobra intent on nipping me on the neck in the middle of my backswing.  To borrow . . . steal actually . . . another snake analogy from the golf announcer David Feherty, “I looked like a man trying to kill a snake in a phone booth.”

I began to feel about my driver the way you would feel if you caught a glimpse of your best man lasciviously ogling your bride halfway through the nuptials.  Oh, the sense of betrayal, the keen disappointment, the primal urge to wrap the blasted thing around the nearest palm tree.

Thank goodness my frustration was broken by the spectacular holes that run along the ocean.  It suddenly dawned on me that I was playing one of the classic golf courses in all the world with rented clubs,  a serious loft problem (lack of friggin’ talent) all on someone else’s dime.  Instead of cursing my driver, I should be counting my blessings.  Let’s be honest, the course record was never going to be in any jeopardy no matter how well I played.  The remainder of the round I drank in the spectacular surroundings and dined on the camaraderie and even hit a few nice drives.  They came too late to salvage my score but not to top off a spectacular experience.

Having swum several laps in the pool of my personal self-pity, there is no time left to tell you about the remarkable resort called Casa de Campo.  Not to worry.  Merely sign up to follow this blog and you will soon be getting an engraved (OK, not really engraved), more like embossed (OK, not exactly embossed), more like electronic email invitation to return to this site for another happy stroll through Casa de Campo.

Hyatt Zilara / Ziva Rose Hall: EaZy To Love

Until fairly recently, the self-effacing and unpretentious letter “z” had managed to keep a low profile by hiding in the shadow of the gangly “y'” there at the end of the alphabet.  But once Hyatt jumped with both feet into the deep end of the all-inclusive pool with their Zilara and Ziva brands, those days of obscurity for the ultimate letter were forever lost.  Now “Z” is all grown up and strutting its stuff like a voluptuous Miss Venezuela in the swimsuit competition at the Miss Universe pageant.

Take the names of their restaurants, for example.  Petit Pariz is bringing, as they like to say, “Parisian flair to the shores of Jamaica.”    Flavorz is located in the main lobby offering breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Horizons, whose name they didn’t even have to massage, features international cuisine in a “farm to table” concept.  The lobby bar is called is called Potionz and the pool swim-up bar is styled Islandz.   Time fails me to talk about Choicez, Di Roza, Fuzion, Calypzo, Grindz and Fez.  Unless you have dozed off and are cranking out a few zzzzs by now, I think you get the idea.

If you are eager to know more about how Hyatt is upgrading the all-inclusive experience from A to Z, you have only to read my typically brilliant post Hyatt All-Inclusive Resorts: Evolution or Revolution?  Should you then be swept away by my lilting prose, you can read about the Hyatt Ziva in Los Cabos.  Speaking of swept away, that already stunning property is undergoing a complete transformation thanks to the visit of a most unwelcome guest last September called Hurricane Odile.

We shall, however, focus our remaining time together on the Hyatt Zilara / Ziva Rose Hall in Montego Bay, Jamaica where I was privileged to stay recently.  For those who may not know, the Zilara is the adult only brand and Ziva is the family brand.  In this case, the two brands are adjacent sharing a central lobby.  As the slightly more deluxe brand, all the facilities and dining options of both are available to Zalara guests but not vice versa.

I, along with 200 or so of my closest friends, was the recipient of the largess of Funjet Vacations and the Hyatt for this experience.  Those cynical souls who are immediately suspicious of my objectivity need to read my Fool Disclosure page where I lay bare my soul on that subject.  For those who prefer the executive summary:  I don’t claim any . . . objectivity, that is.

As to the resort, here are my observations about both the resort and the destination.

Extraordinary Service

I have often said on these pages that the overall level of service in Mexico has never been matched in any other destination.  While the service levels in Jamaica are quite good, I have always tended to put them a notch below Mexico.   Leave it to Hyatt to make me eat my words.  (Fortunately, they also provided a nice little Cabernet to wash them down!)

The folks at Hyatt have proved that exemplary service is all about setting the right expectations, hiring the right people and providing the right training.  The warmth and friendliness of the staff and their eagerness to serve is everything you could hope for at a deluxe resort.

Beach Lover’s Paradise

The sobriquet “beach lover” does not really apply to me.  Call me crazy but I have an aversion to tiny grains of sand finding their way into every crevice of my body.   However, I am well aware that for many, perhaps most, of you, a quality beach is the most important consideration when selecting a warm weather resort.

If you fall into this category, I can happily report this property has as nice a beach as you will find nearly anywhere.  There are plenty of palapas and lounge chairs and a nice breaker so even the urchins can enjoy the water.

The most popular beach feature is Barefoot Jerkz where you can get chicken, beef and fish Jamaican style.  Finally, someone has come up with a restaurant named with me in mind!

Rose Hall Great House

If you like to mix in a little history, culture and voodoo witchcraft into your vacation (and who doesn’t), the Great House at Rose Hall, just across the road from the resort, is just what the witch doctor ordered.  I don’t have time to recount the story of the “white witch” and the three husbands she killed in three separate upstairs bedrooms (plus a handful of lovers but who’s counting)  but you will get all that when you do the tour as I did.  Let’s just say that Annee Palmer was a little, as in 4’11”, ball of pure, unadulterated evil.

Even better than the tour of the Great House, for my taste at least, is the White Witch Golf Course.  While the beach worshipers were back at the resort attempting to inconspicuously deal with their own sand wedgies, I was using my sand wedge to extricate myself from one of the numerous bunkers that dot this magnificent course.

There is oh so much more to say about the Hyatt Zilara and Ziva Rose Hall but, alas, no time left to share it.  If you are looking to experience some of the best of Jamaica without the trek to either Ocho Rios or Negril, let us book you into this magnificent resort where the service will impress, the beach will entice and the culture will inspire.

One closing word of caution for the male reader.  It is said that Annee is actively looking for her next husband so if you do tour the Great House by candlelight, you might want to keep up with the rest of your group.  Just sayin’.

Trains, Tours And A Touch Of Tequila

The other day a couple of sales reps came a callin’.  OK, admittedly,  that in itself is not exactly remarkable or particularly blog worthy.  In the travel industry, sales reps are as common as fleas on a junk yard dog.  Not that I equate any of these precious souls with a member of the Pulicidea family of insects, let me hasten to add.  Certainly not these two charming ladies!

What is beyond remarkable, however, is whenever a supplier is able to lay before me a destination or experience:

1. I have never even heard of before.
2. I would gladly book the next flight to experience for myself.

These two ladies scored on both counts and, since I live to make your jaw drop too, I am going to tell you all about it.  Strike that.  There is never enough time to tell you “all about” anything. Instead, I am going to tell you just enough to tickle your wanderlust.  Relax, that is not nearly as prurient as it sounds.

 

Tequila Espíritu de México

The journey begins with a flight into Guadalajara, the capital of the Mexican state of Jalisco. Our ultimate destination is Tequila, Mexico.  (Did I catch you reflexively licking your lips?)  OK, we are in Guadalajara but how shall we traverse the sixty kilometers (just under forty miles) to Tequila town?  Let’s see . . . burro, oxcart, thumb a ride?  If it is all the same to you, I think I would rather hop aboard the:

It doesn’t require much imagination to picture myself sitting at the bar below, sipping on a smooth little Jose Cuervo tequila and testing my limited Spanish on the convivial, and very patient, bartender.  He even stifles a laugh when I ask him if he is ever pregnant (embarazado) when he uses the wrong English word.  I hate those false cognates!

To continue my imaginary journey, after the brutal two-hour rail journey gazing at gorgeous agave fields and throwing back tequila shots, I am only hoping I can find some decent little hovel to rest my weary head.  If required, I suppose I could make do with the brand new Hotel Solar de las Animas.

This incredible hotel is based on a Creole colonial house and is designed by renowned architect Jorge Loyzaga whose prestigious restoration works include Chapultepec Castle, a stunning edifice overlooking Mexico City.  (I have a picture of me standing on the ramparts of the castle where the city looms over my right shoulder,  a piece of trivia I realize would bore even Clilff Clavin from Cheers.)

The room categories range from Superior Double to the Royal Suite.  Since, for now at least this is but a mythical journey, I attempt to check into the Royal Suite.  When my royal lineage is called into question (surprisingly they seem to be unfamiliar with the prominence of the Denton clan in British history), I gracefully accept whatever category is shown in the picture below.

Comfortably ensconced in my room, I turn my attention to whatever enriching experiences might lie outside my doorstep.  I am intrigued to discover how many options the area offers but I decide on a horseback ride through blue agave fields and a tour of Fabrica La Rojeña , the oldest distillery in the Americas.  The order in which I participate in the two activities is not accidental, I assure you!

When you visit (hopefully, unlike mine, yours will not be of the virtual variety) you will want to sign up for the Maestro Tequilero blending experience where, under the watchful eye of an expert in the art of blending, you will experiment with five combinations to produce your own souvenir damajuana.   If like your humble scribe, you have never even heard of a damajuana, you will immediately recognize the necessity of the expert assistance mentioned above!

 

Unfortunately, the cold, wet dishrag of reality is slapping me in the face and I must conclude my mythical odyssey.   If the two ladies who planted this yearning in the first place are reading these words, I feel sure I could add so much more vibrant color and rich context in future blogs if only I were to experience Tequila Espiritu de Mexico for myself.  (As regular readers can attest, I have always valued directness over subtlety.)

If you think this might be a trip you would enjoy, reach out to me and maybe I will put a little group together so we can all experience it!

Crème van Aruba: The Top Five Resorts

You, my delectable little devotees, will know that I have previously published four posts in my Crème de Mexico series where I shared my expert opinion on the top resorts in Cancun, Riviera Maya, Los Cabos and Riviera Nayarit (with more Mexico destinations to follow soon).  

I can only imagine how ecstatic you must be to hear that I have elected to apply my not inconsiderable talents to the island of Aruba.  (I am sure that faint ripple of applause I hear trickling through cyberspace will reach a crescendo at any moment.)  What say we start with a word or two about the destination itself before I unveil the lucky beneficiaries of my editorial favor?  Hearing no objections . . . even with the now thunderous ovation I correctly predicted . . . I shall continue.

These are Aruba “Happy Returners” Mark and Robin Everly & their children from Frisco, Texas. They travel to Aruba twice a year for their Caribbean Vacation. Click on the image to see other “Happy Returners”.

Centuries of Aruban history is summed up nicely in this one sentence on the Aruba Tourism Authority website,  “What began as a fishing outpost for Amerindians has changed hands between the Spanish and Dutch throughout the centuries, and is now a diverse constituent country of the Netherlands.”  Knowing my audience all too well, I feel comfortable in assuming that your interest in Aruba is more hedonistic than historical so that tidbit should suffice. 

Let me list several compelling, and more contemporary, reasons why Aruba needs to wiggle its way to the top of your bucket list (I’m picturing a pail of slimy fishing worms but you don’t have to).

• Aruba has more than a dozen incredible beaches like Palm Beach, Eagle Beach, etc.
• Aruba is relatively easy to get to with direct flights from many US gateways.
• Aruba accepts US dollars and most everyone speaks English (along with Dutch, Portuguese, Spanish and even Papiamento (just in case you need to brush up)
• Aruba offers an almost endless supply of adventure sports such as:  diving, kayaking, sport fishing, parasailing and . . .  Tell you what.  Just go here and you can look at five pages of adventure options.
• Aruba offers a surprising selection of food as their cuisine is influenced by 90 nationalities!

More about Aruba another time but we must return to the stated purpose of this blog post which is to give you five superlative options for your Aruban home away from home.

Bucuti & Tara Beach Resorts

As stated above, my number one reason to visit Aruba is the array of incredible beaches.  If you are an aficionado of boutique style resorts that cater exclusively to couples and adults and a world-class beach is a must, then this property is for you.  Located on Eagle Beach, this hotel is owned and operated by the renowned hotelier Ewald Biemans.  You know you are staying in a boutique hotel when the owner writes his own blog which you can read here.

But what if you are not only a beach bum but also a food fanatic?  Bucuti & Tara Beach Resorts has you covered there as well.  Carte Blanche is Nirvana for serious food lovers.  The restaurant only seats 16 (now that’s exclusive).  You will want to make your reservation well in advance of your trip to ensure one of those coveted chairs.  As the website explains, “The highlight is Owner/Chef Dennis van Daatselaar cooking a 5-course “Carte Blanche” (chef’s surprise) dinner right in front of you.”

If fifteen fellow diners still make you agoraphobic, Bucuti & Tara Beach Resorts has the perfect solution.  Simply book a private cabana like the one pictured above where you can choose from a specially designed menu for two.  Now if even two people seems excessive, I am afraid you have psychological issues neither Bucuti and Tara Beach Resorts nor I can resolve in this space!

 The Ritz-Carlton, Aruba

What say we move from the boutique to the bodacious?  This property has 320 spacious rooms, each with a private balcony.  It offers a 15,000 square foot casino open 24 hours a day for those of you still living the fantasy that next time you really are going to beat the house.  If you really want to daydream a little (OK, I know you are reading this at work but I won’t tell your boss), check out the pictures on their website.  I must say they are some of the most stunning you will see of any resort.

Here is a quirky little factoid.  The incredible spa at the Ritz is also 15,000 square feet, the same size as the casino.  What better place to recover from the lingering disappointments of the night before at the blackjack table?   After your Awa Awakening Treatment and the “seven different indigenous local floral and herbal potions . . . created by a Caribbean herbalist,” you will be so mellow you will sneer in the face of your gambling losses.  OK, maybe not sneer but at least stop whimpering.

Radisson Aruba Resort, Casino & Spa

The Radisson Aruba Resort is one of the most popular resorts in Aruba with an impressive number of repeat visitors.

The resort offers a nice selection of dining options but be sure you visit their signature restaurant, the award-winning Sunset Grille.  What caught my eye was the fact that their extensive wine list has received the highly acclaimed Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator Magazine 10 years in a row.  I have been known to savor a tantalizing red on a couple of occasions (weekdays & weekends).

Another unique feature of the resort is Biba Aruba each Tuesday from 5 to 9 p.m featuring Aruban food and culture, live music and carnival dancers.

Boardwalk Small Hotel Aruba

Would you like to discover one of the nine hidden jewels of the Caribbean?  Before you answer, let me clarify that this is not an invitation to participate in another hokey reality show where you get to betray your best friend and sleep with your arch rival.  This is the term no less an authority than USA Today applied to  Boardwalk Small Hotel Aruba.

Though they have labored to obscure the fact with their name, I should point out that this hotel is small.  Speaking as one who has yet to be asked if I am a professional basketball player, I have no problem with small.  In fact, I am a big fan . . .metaphorically speaking . . . of casitas (small house in Spanish) which this property offers in spades.  They are doing a lot of things right to be ranked 2nd out of 24 Aruban hotels on TripAdvisor (You know, that site where people go who have yet to discover this incredible blog).

Occidental Grand Aruba Resort (Royal Club)

I am going to wind up this list by sharing a little insider tip.  If you book your trip to Aruba (through us, of course) at the Occidental Grand you will have a great vacation. But if you want to turn great into spectacular, pony up the relatively small difference and book the Royal Club.

The best way to think of the Royal Club is as a hotel within a hotel designed for those with a nose for value.  Paying more is never a guarantee of getting more so it takes a degree of travel moxie to know when an upgrade is worth the difference.  Take it to the bank (my bank, preferably),  this is not the time to quibble over a few bucks.  You get access to the Royal Club Restaurant,  the Royal Club lounge, personalized check-in and a private concierge.  Don’t forget the premium beverages and the free wi-fi as well.

The only problem I see with the picture above is the potential argument over who gets the side with the view.  Although, I suppose you could argue that if you have chosen your roommate well, there isn’t a bad view!

If you have been to Mexico so many times, the consulate is calling and asking if you have thought about applying for dual citizenship, maybe it’s time to spread your wings.  Aruba beckons and one of these five exclusive resorts has a room with your name on it.

The St. Regis Punta Mita Resort: Seriously Secure!

For those not familiar with the roller coaster existence led by your favorite travel agent (whoever he or she may be), this particular post should provide a window into all of our kaleidoscopic lives.  You see, dear reader, we are always bouncing between feast or famine, prince or pauper, hero or zero depending on the mood / magnanimity of our suppliers and travel partners at any given moment.

As I pen these words, I am returning from a very enjoyable Travel Leaders owner’s retreat at the new Iberostar Playa Mita Resort just north of Punta Mita, Mexico. On a free afternoon, I decided to do a personal site inspection of the St. Regis Punta Mita Resort. (More about the resort momentarily).  I had the Iberostar sales manager contact the St. Regis sales office to set up a tour of the property.  I hopped in a taxi and ten minutes later found myself at the enclave’s imposing security gate. I could tell immediately from the body language and skeptical expression on the guard’s face that gaining access was not going to be your proverbial Sunday school picnic.

In the interest of brevity I will spare you the more gruesome details but suffice it to say it took twenty arduous minutes of wheedling, begging, invoking the name of Yasmin (my contact), calling back to the Iberostar, trying to call the front desk of the St. Regis (all using the saintly taxi driver’s cell phone) and praying fervently to St. Christopher, the patron saint of travelers (and hopefully travel agents) . . . keep in mind that I am not even Catholic!  I later learned that the security at the St. Regis is rather legendary owing to the fact that Enrique Peña Nieto, the current president of Mexico, is a frequent guest.

I did eventually breach the ramparts and was given a delightful tour by Karla Villaseñor.  The equally  gracious Yasmin, as it turned out, works at the golf course where I was first deposited and not at the resort.  (If you want to finish this blog while you are still young, don’t even ask how I ended up there.)  At the conclusion of the tour, Karla asked if I need a ride back to the Iberostar.  One snap of her fingers and a Cadillac Escalade magically appeared to whisk me back to my hotel, at no charge I might add. When the doorman at the Iberostar who had sent me off a couple of hours earlier opened the door to my chariot, he broke out in spontaneous laughter. “Senior, you left in a taxi and return in a Cadillac!” Ah, Jose, now you understand the life of a travel agent.  Our lives are spent either in first class or conversely, if not being thrown under the bus, at least hanging partially out the side of one.

THE ST. REGIS PUNTA MITA RESORT

The first thing you notice about the St. Regis is the impeccable taste (check out the pictures above). You don’t need a degree in interior design to realize that the folks who built this masterpiece obviously knew someone who has several. The furnishings, the wall treatments, the art work all exude an impressive refinement. That same flair applies to the landscaping and horticulture. This thoughtful combination creates an ambiance that soothes the soul moments after arriving.

Remède Spa

All three or four of my regular readers know that I am a pushover for a great spa.  In fact, more than once during a relaxing full body massage I have had to be pushed over just so the masseus could work on the other side.  St. Regis is justifiably famous for their Remède Spa.  For those considerably more refined than I, you will recognize the Remède, Bliss and Decleor line of spa products which they offer. 

I was particularly impressed by the outdoor treatment options which provide striking views of the gorgeous landscape mentioned previously.   Of course you will find a sauna, steam room, fitness center, salon, Jacuzzi and all the other accoutrements you would expect in  a world class spa.

Guest Rooms

For a property that only has 120 rooms, there is quite the variety of options.  These include deluxe rooms, junior suites, deluxe suites, luxury one-bedrooms and two-bedroom suites and, of course, a presidential suite.  I think even my slower readers can guess who is one of the frequent occupants of the “Presidential” suite.   It is good to rule a country!

Below are pictures of one of the Luxury Suites.  Check out the view from the private pool!

  

Divine Dining

Those same three or four devotees of this blog referenced above know well that if there is anything I like even better than having my entire body slathered over with priceless oils,  it is sating my seemingly endless appetite.  What my palate may lack in cultured refinement is more than made up for in boundless appreciation.  At St. Regis Punta Mita Resort, trust me, there is plenty to be thankful for.

Click on the image above to read about each of these incredible venues!

Glorious Golf

Reverse the order of these three aspects that I have detailed above and you have pretty much constructed my definition of a perfect day in paradise.  Start with a round of golf at Pacifico (with a magical birdie on the “Tail of the Whale” hole, of course), follow it with a full body massage at Remède Spa and crown the day with a relaxing dinner at Carolina Restaurant.

St Regis Punta Mita Resort bills itself as an emerging paradise.  I would not quibble with the paradise part for even a second but it seems pretty darn “emerged” to me.  If you are looking for a vacation spot where you will have a wonderful time AND feel completely secure, take it from someone that knows and visit the incomparable St Regis Punta Mita Resort.

Note:  If you tuned in expecting another post in my series on the Quantum of the Seas, simply consider this a brief hiatus.   Come back soon and I promise you will find another highly anticipated chapter in that riveting series!