OK, I’m Here . . . So Now What? Los Cabos

Regular followers of this blog (in other words, the most sagacious among you), will know that I wrote a previous post in this category on the destination of Cancun.  It met with such a resounding reception from both of my fans that I have deemed it time to consider another tourist spot.   And what a destination it is!

Without a doubt, Los Cabos is one of the most beautiful resort areas Mexico has to offer.  Situated at the end of the Baja California Peninsula, it consists of three distinct localities: Cabo San Lucas (bottom left), San Jose del Cabo (on the right) and the Tourist Corridor that runs between them.    I promise to write another post soon that will enumerate the pros and cons of each locale.  (If you are keeping score at home, that would be pros “100″ and Cons “0″.)

As I pointed out in the Cancun post , it is not enough to simply select a great destination and the perfect resort.  You need to give a little serious thought as to what you will do once you get there.  What say we get you out of your dreary, drab, mind-numbing daily existence (just sayin’) and remind you what zest and gusto feel like!

Let’s Get Cultured:   Todos Santos

Situated between Cabo San Lucas and La Paz, this charming village is famous for being home to Hotel California.  If you were born after 1977 (first and foremost, try not to gloat), this is the title song from the Eagle’s album of the same name. This desert oasis offers spectacular views of the Pacific.  It is nestled among ancient orchards of mango and palms.  Tours of the fascinating city of La Paz are also available.

Let’s Get Crazy:   Wild Canyon Canopy Tour

When I say, “Let’s Get Crazy”, let me be clear.  I mean let’s you get crazy.  Entrusting my life to a series of cables strung between trees is not my idea of a sane pursuit.  The selling point of this particular adventure is that it is the only canopy attraction in Mexico in which you  can ride tandem with 1, 2 or even 3 friends.  Unless the thought of a joint suicide pact holds some bizarre appeal for you, I strongly suggest you invite your most anorexic friends along on this one.

Let’s Get Cuddly:  Dolphin Programs

If you find in impossible to see a cute animal without uttering the obligatory “Ahhhhh”, this experience is probably perfect for you.  As the website explains, “Your Dolphin Encounter begins with an informative introduction by our dolphin trainers who will help you understand the dolphins’ anatomy, physiology, etc.”  This sentence may sound innocuous but it is all about learning how to pet a dolphin and, much more importantly, how not to pet a dolphin unless you want a lot more affection than you bargained for!

Let’s Get Catchy:  Fishing Charters

Most of my fishing experience growing up was with a cane pole and a plastic cork in my grandmother’s East Texas stock tank roughly the size of a disco dance floor.  On a good day you might catch a 10 ounce Sun Perch only to get finned for your trouble.  I am assuming that bears no resemblance to sport fishing but having never experienced it, I can’t attest.  It is obviously popular because on any given morning in Cabo you can see up to 200 charter boats leaving the crowded marina.

Let’s Get Chippy:  Golf Options

At last we have reached a truly civilized activity.   Muslims have their Mecca, we golfers have our Los Cabos.  There are way too many great courses to mention them all but three of my favorites (Cabo Real, Puerto Los Cabos & Club Campestre San Jose) are operated by Questro Golf.   Throw my name around and you will probably get a couple of broken tees and all the tap water you can drink.  Seriously, tell Nubia I sent you and you will at least get a warm smile and cheerful greeting.

Amazingly, those are just a few of the many activities available in Los Cabos.

Now let’s close with a few reasons for booking your Los Cabos activities in advance on our affiliate site with our great partners at Amstar DMC:

1)  In many cases, the prices are lower online

2)  You avoid lines at the hotel and the possibility of sell-outs

3)  You get instant confirmation & tickets

4)  Most importantly, you contribute to the financial solvency of this humble blogger.  How is that for “fool disclosure”?

Travel Industry Proposes, Royal Caribbean Disposes

One of my favorite quotes comes from “The Imitation of Christ” by the German-born Thomas à Kempis (c.1380-1471): “For man proposes, but God disposes; neither is the way of man in his own hands.”  We in the travel agency community are a little like that.  We propose all sorts of brilliant ideas, at least in our own humble estimation, yet we face the reality that in most cases we have zero power to dispose.

I recently interviewed Vicki Freed,  the Senior Vice President of Sales and Trade Support & Services for Royal Caribbean International, right here on this incomparable little blog and one of my queries was, for her at least, this very familiar and possibly tiresome question:  “When will Royal Caribbean start sailing year round out of the port of Galveston?”

For a little context, travel agents throughout Texas and surrounding states have for a few years now  been clamoring, cajoling, carping (and various other exertions too embarrassing to mention in print) for Royal Caribbean to position a ship in Galveston year round.  We travel types are nothing if not annoyingly persistent.

I have big news!  Let me share a brief excerpt from a press release issued today.  “Royal Caribbean International, the cruise line known for first at-sea innovations, announced today that it is basing 3,114-guest Navigator of the Seas year-round from the Texas port city of Galveston.”   Unlike when mighty Casey struck out, there was great joy in Mudville today. More than one of our travel agents was observed doing the happy dance on their desks!

Since by design, these “Hear It Here First” posts are intended to be short and sweet, you can click here to read all the details.One exciting aspect of the news is that not only will Navigator of the Seas begin sailing year round from Galveston beginning this November but also will be emerging from an extensive drydock revitalization in February of 2014.  

This is absolutely going to be a very popular ship and departure port so start making your plans now.   Click here if you would like a full schedule of departure dates and itineraries and reach out to me for prices and to secure space.

Remember, you heard it here first.  And, if you didn’t, then clearly you aren’t as devoted a follower of this blog as you should be!  Come on, let’s muster a little fanatical devotion here.

You Say St. Martin And I Say St. Maarten

Before you jump in and shout, “Let’s call the whole thing off!”, let me quickly point out we are both correct . . assuming we are both talking about the enchanted Caribbean island located at the northern end of the Lesser Antilles.  St. Martin is the common English spelling and St. Maarten is the traditional Dutch spelling.  St. Morton is a complete mauling of the name and indicates you probably have way too much salt in your diet.

Christopher Columbus discovered St. Maarten on November 11th, the holy day of St. Martin of Tours, and thus named the island after him.  If I had known back in college days that all you had to do to get an island named after you is become a saint, I might have behaved a little better.   I am not suggesting by the picture below that this constituted Christopher’s mode of transportation.  I remember from zoology class that there are such things as sea horses but I am relatively certain these are not examples.

One of the peculiarities of this tiny island is that it is shared by two sovereign nations, Holland and France.   This fact no doubt explains the provocative phrase the tourist board likes to bandy about. “Where European sophistication and raw island passion have fallen in love.”   Another way to say it is St. Maarten is a “Caribbean Paradise with European Panache”.   Suffice it to say that there is a lot of “Old World” charm on this “New World” isle.

I could ramble on about the myriad activities (take horseback riding on the beach, as a random example), the splendid and variegated beaches, the night life that never ends (can you say 14 world-class, Vegas style casinos) and the dozens of dazzling places to dine but, as you no doubt have observed from past posts, I am a humble man of very few words.  You haven’t noticed?

I would much rather husband our brief time together and tell you about an amazing resort located on this Caribbean gem.  I am referring to none other than the incomparable

La Samanna

The name of this resort comes from the owner’s three children:  Samantha, Natalie and Amanda.  It’s fortunate he wasn’t more prolific or the resort might be unpronounceable.

In the words of the The ID Travel Group brochure, “La Samanna, an Orient-Express hotel, lies in 55 acres of lush, tropical gardens, overlooking Baie Longue stretch of white
sand beach.”  This property is ideally suited for anyone looking for a place to relax and let the gently lapping waters of the bay gingerly wash away the accumulated cares deposited there by a frenetic lifestyle.  If stress is the poison that kills, La Samanna is the antidote that revives.

That doesn’t mean that resuscitation has to take only one form.  An exuberant toast shared by new-found friends under a canopy of stars can be just as invigorating as an afternoon nap in a gently swaying hammock.   A sumptuous dinner in an elegant bistro famous for their French cuisine, with apologies to Shakespeare, can serve as well to “knit the raveled sleeve of care” as a restful night’s repose.

Here is one of those insider tips we love to share in these “Incredible Isles” posts.

 “For a couple looking to dine at the most exclusive and romantic table on the island, Le Cave is the spot.  Located in the wine cellar of La Samanna, guests can arrange a private dinner with a customized tasting menu and wine pairings.  It is the most amazing setting for a special occasion.” –Jennifer Molloy, Reservations Manager.

If even these prescriptions are insufficient to straighten out the kinks in your tortured psyche, then there are always the nine beckoning spa treatment rooms where the combination of Asian transcendental music and lightly dancing magical fingers will have you slithering out of the treatment room like a great gray slug.  OK, not one of my more gentile metaphors but, you have to admit, it does evoke a powerful, if rather slimy, mental image.

I know you will be completely shocked when I tell you, I just happen to have a very special offer should you at this point be gathering up possessions to sell so you can experience La Samanna for yourself.  I am not going to give you a lot of details because 1) that is not what we do here and 2)  if I did, I would have to add a couple of hundred words in mice type of legal disclaimer.

So let me just hint that my little offer includes upgrades, paying for less nights than you stay, some free insurance and such.  If you are intrigued, contact me and I will quite gladly send you the offer . . . along with the mice type disclaimer . . . suitable for framing!

Vicki Freed: One Of Royal Caribbean’s Leading Ladies

There are achievers and then there are over-achievers.  (You may have noticed,  I intentionally omitted under-achievers since that strikes a little too close to home for some of us.)  Vicki Freed, the Senior Vice President of Sales and Trade Support & Services for Royal Caribbean International, certainly belongs to the over-achiever category.

One of the few times you will catch Vicki just hanging around!

She has set an incredible record of accomplishment.  Should I attempt to catalog her rather daunting list of achievements here, it would only serve to make Vicki blush and, more importantly, take time away from hearing her valuable insights.  I suggest instead you read her full bio here.

What is even more remarkable though is how she has managed to reach the pinnacle of the cruise industry while retaining such warm affection and high esteem among so many of her colleagues and travel industry constituents.  I refrained from saying all because surely there must be someone out there for whom Vicki is not the flavor of the month but lacking an electron microscope and a research sabbatical, so far I have not been able to detect one.

What you will discover for yourself when you listen to the recorded interview below is that Vicki combines a keen intellect with an ebullient charm.  This happy confluence of gifts has served her well in her career.  She embodies the brand she represents:  contemporary style and timeless grace.  Cream rises inexorably to the top and Vicki is the executive equivalent of crème de la crème.  Hey, I would be right there too if I hadn’t somehow become a little curdled along the way!

Before you listen to the interview, you might be amused (not that I was at the time) by this quick aside.  In preparing for the interview I alerted my co-workers not to come calling, put my phone on Do Not Disturb, turned off my cell phone and securely shut my door, all to insure that the recorded call would be as clear as possible.  Notwithstanding all my precautions, sixty seconds into the interview a window washer started spraying what sounded,  to my ears at least, like a 3″ fire hose on to my exterior windows rattling the window panes and shattering my nerves.  By some miracle, you will not be able to detect the clatter on the recording!

I seem to have been assigned a guardian angel who requires both morning and afternoon naps.  Granted looking after me has to be particularly exhausting but why can’t I have someone shepherding me around with a little more energy or perhaps, more importantly, a less perverse sense of humor!

OK, let’s get to the good stuff!  In our conversation, Vicki, among other things:

1)  Offers some excellent advice to first-time cruisers

2)  Gives us just a peek into the new Quantum class of ships on the near horizon

3)  Nimbly explains how “Every Ship Can Be The Best Ship”

Click here or on Vicki’s picture to see probing questions magically transformed into perceptive answers right before your very eyes . . .  or ears, I suppose, in this case.

Do you have a favorite travel industry executive that you would like to see subjected to the unquestionable prestige of appearing on Backroom Banter?  Vicki has set a very high bar but if you do have someone in mind, send me their name and I will see if can’t appeal to their charitable spirit as I did with Vicki.

A Vacation Without Golf? Say It Ain’t So!

Your reaction when you hear the phrase, “Say it ain’t so!” is a barometer of your interests and, perhaps too, your age.  If you are an aficionado of  baseball, you immediately think of “Shoeless Joe” Jackson and the famous Black Sox scandal of 1919.  If you are a rocker, on the other hand, you will recognize the phrase as the title of a song written and performed by the American rock band Weezer.  I am appropriating the term, however, with deference to neither but rather simply to register my shock and horror at such a heretical idea.  A vacation without golf?  Please!

Even I am astute enough to recognize that the entire populace does not share this view.  Therefore, this post will attempt the impossible.  (Why squander our time on the merely difficult, right?)  I shall attempt to deconstruct and reprogram the minds of those of you whose opinion of golf tends to parallel a popular quip attributed to Mark Twain, among others. “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”  Whoever may have said it first, it succinctly sums up to the opinion of a multitude of non-golfers.

As seems to be the case ever more frequently in my advancing years, in this matter I am convinced my view is the proper one and all those of a contrary opinion are sadly misguided.  Having shed all pretense of modesty, let me begin to marshal my evidence before I lose your attention altogether.   Here are three incontrovertible reasons why golf should be part of every vacation.

1)  Golf Affords The Opportunity For A Fresh Beginning

I have a preacher friend who once told me that he loved preaching in black churches.  When I enquired why, he replied, “In black churches,  you get to start over every week.”  He did not mean this in any derogatory sense.  Quite the opposite.  He admired the black churches’ emphasis on forgiveness and manifold grace.

This may seem a bit of a stretch but golf is like that.  When you stand on the first tee, you have nary a blemish on your scorecard.  The card in your hand looks positively pristine, not unlike the closely mown grass under your feet.  You may have gouged and hacked your way through the previous round to the utter consternation of the groundskeeper but all those snowmen (8′s for the uninitiated) on your last scorecard are but a wispy vapor of the mind, melting into nothingness in the morning sun.

As you peer down the first fairway, in a moment of sheer delusion, you ask the starter about the course record.  You pretend it is idle curiosity but inwardly you are fantasizing.  You never know, right?  Sometimes that seductive mirage even lasts a hole or two.  I once started a round with two birdies.  If they could only bottle euphoria like that!

2)  Golf Is Played In Idyllic Surroundings

Have you ever walked the grounds of some palatial estate dreaming that some day your ship would come in (personally, mine broke apart on the twin reefs of poor judgment and bad advice several years ago) and when it did,  you too would finally live in such breathtaking environs?  My humble suggestion . . . in the meantime, of course . . . is to just take up golf.  I have strolled the grounds of the Palace of Versailles and I have ambled through London’s Kew Gardens.  I have also played the incomparable Pebble Beach and Maui’s stunning Plantation course and the former pair have nothing on the latter.

If you are a lover of nature, if you like beautiful panoramas and grand vistas, if you like endless variety, fresh air and the sound of birds chirping, if you like gently rolling fields and  towering pines . . . you get my drift . . .  may I gently remind you that the game of golf is played in the great outdoors where nature in all its grandeur is, at least  temporarily, your private estate.

3)  There Is No Such Thing As A Bad Round Of Golf.

OK, admittedly this blanket assertion assumes no freak accidents such as golf cart rollovers, lightning strikes or beanings of your fellow golfers.   Let’s dismiss those negative thoughts at the outset.  Barring such rare occurrences, golf reminds me of a comment I once heard about sex.  Even when it’s bad, it’s good.  As long as you go to the golf course with the right attitude, every round can be a pleasure.

I know what you are thinking.  Precisely because golf is played outdoors, isn’t it true that the vicissitudes of nature are always looming to spoil your outing.  Au contraire, mon ami.  As Oscar Wilde famously said, “There is no bad weather . . . only inappropriate clothing.”  That is precisely why they make rain gear!

I once arose at six in the morning keenly anticipating my first round of golf ever in Ireland.  I flipped on the TV to catch the weather only to be told that I should expect rain and gale force winds off the North Sea.  When my friends and I entered the clubhouse, we were met by the club manager who made the sign of the cross muttering, “God bless you, my children” under his breath.  Not even the locals had ventured out.  True to the forecast there was steady rain and forty mile an hour winds all day.  Ever prepared, I was wearing the proper gear for the conditions.  This undoubtedly renders my sanity suspect, as if it took this final bit of evidence, but I have to say that experience is one of my favorite golf memories of all time.

River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways (2)

When last I left you  . . . or you left me . . . let’s not quibble over who broke it off, we were strolling hand in hand down that most renowned of liquid highways, the incomparable Rhine river.  I had made some tortured pun on the name of our ship and you had tittered in that coy way you have. Then, suddenly, you slipped away into the heavy mist that creeps along the river’s banks like a cat burglar in ballet slippers.   Let’s resume our journey and see if we can’t recapture a bit of yesterday’s magic.

Before we leave Amsterdam for good though, I just have to show you this picture as a dire warning that even a pastime as noble as gardening can go to seed, so to speak. You could build an entire reality show called “Horticulture Gone Wild” based on this yard alone.  Did you notice the garage roof?

One of my favorite stops along the way was Cologne from which we get our word . . . cologne.  I figured that out without resorting to the guide book.  And speaking of guides, Viking River Cruises has this fantastic system whereby every passenger is given a headset to use on walking tours.  If you look closely at our guide, whom I called Hoss Cartwright (behind his rather imposing back, of course), you can see his microphone.

The reincarnation of Hoss Cartwright.

“Hoss” was an absolute mountain of a man.  Let’s just say he cut a wide swath and I quickly found that if you followed in his wake you could careen along behind him no matter how many Peppermint Schnaps you might have imbibed. I will say, “Hoss” had a masterful grasp of colorful local history and and a very entertaining way of presenting it.

The first picture below is a great illustration as to why comfortable walking shoes are an absolute must on this kind of experience.  The second picture is the perfect advertisement for:

1) living in the south of France instead of the north of Germany

2) letting your wife dress you in the morning

3) finally, for choosing a musical instrument that is smaller than you are! I wonder if this guy ever gave serious consideration to an harmonica.

 If you are foolhardy enough to book another river cruise company besides Viking River Cruises, the picture below depicts the cabin you will likely end up with.  Just so you know, having waterfowl hanging on your wall will cost you a surcharge..  OK, just a little harmless joke, other river cruise partners.  Actually, there are several quality river cruise companies out there but Viking is certainly an industry leader in many categories.  They are not the cheapest nor the most expensive but they provide incredible value for price.  They have won a number of very prestigious awards.  You might want to read my recent post on Travel Deals And Other Mythical Creatures for a little perspective on travel values verses supposed deals.

If I have rekindled your affection as well as sparked your passion for this wonderful way to see the world, are you willing to indulge me one final installment in this little trilogy?  If so, let’s make a date to meet back here in a few days where we will conclude our river odyssey.

River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways

There is a very good reason that so many great cities, not only in Europe but throughout the world, are found alongside some of the world’s most majestic rivers.  Before relatively recent times, challenging terrain posed many obstacles to travel over land.  In the rivers, however, the merchants found ready-made highways to transport their goods and thus these cities sprung up as inland ports-of-call.  River cruising is capitalizing upon this reality and rapidly becoming one of the hottest vacation options in travel.

A couple of years ago I was fortunate enough to experience a truly magnificent river cruise aboard the Viking Helvetia.  We sailed from Amsterdam to Basel mostly along the Rhine River.  Part of what made the experience so enjoyable was that I was sauntering along with eighty or so of my closest friends.  You are no doubt shocked I would have 80 casual acquaintances much less that many close friends.

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

You might be surprised to learn how much natural affinity there is between us like-minded, quirky travel folks.  We tend to congregate in large clusters, kind of like the Amish but without the beards . . .  and the foggiest notion of what’s appropriate in public, of course.  Actually I count the folks in this picture among my dear friends. At least I did before I published this candid shot on the internet without their permission where it will linger in some dank corner of cyberspace for all eternity.  Flip’s not really driving.  It just sort of looks that way.

I discovered that there are a whole host of things I like about river cruising, first and foremost being the leisurely pace.  Someone like my fellow blogger Lesley Carter over at Bucket List Publications, a frequenter of these pages, God love her,  would probably have to parasail behind the ship upside down, blindfolded and tethered to concertina wire just to stay awake.  Check out her blog to see what I mean.

However, for those of us for whom an adrenaline rush is defined as sipping a mellow Malbec in a dimly lit room, it is ideal.   When you are trying to absorb several hundred years of European history through the bar’s gigantic picture window, even five knots an hour seems like wave running.  Captain, can’t you slow this thing down a bit!

Giant Archimedes’ screws

Our first stop was in Kinderdijk where we did a windmill excursion.  If you have ever wondered how they move water around in a country which is largely below sea level check out these gigantic Archimedes’ screws.  Those of you who are expecting one of my typical crude attempts at humor will have to wait a sentence or two.  I’m not touching this one.

Just to prove I actually was in The Netherlands, here is one of many windmills dotting the landscape.  And no, dear skeptics out there, I did not photoshop the third hole at my local miniature golf course.  I can tell by your drooping eyelids that I am not going to be able to hold your attention all the way to Basel.  Therefore I have made an editorial decision, seeing as I am what passes for an editor around here, to return next post with more of my heart-throbbing river adventures.  I have decided to do this just for the  Helvetia of it.  (Now there’s the kind of pathetic pun you have come to expect from your humble blogger.)

Have you ever been on a river cruise?  After reading this scintillating post, would you like to?  Check it out here. At you own languid pace, of course!

Two Provocative Travel Insights From G.K. Chesterton

Writer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You are to be altogether forgiven if the initials G.K.C. strike no immediate chord with you. Let me assure you, however, that there was a time in the early twentieth century when those initials at the conclusion of an essay or newspaper article (mere initials being the customary byline of the time) guaranteed a thoughtful reading by the literate class across the entire English-speaking world.   As my title reveals, those initials stand for the English journalist, novelist and essayist, Gilbert Keith Chesterton.

Chesterton was, and still is, one of the world’s most quoted individuals.   You would be doing yourself an immense and pleasurable favor to Google “G. K. Chesterton quotes” and spend a little time perusing any of the several sites that come up.   Today, however, I want to call your attention to two particular quotes.  The first offers an insight into the proper approach to travel and the second reveals the single greatest benefit of traversing the planet.

“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.”

When we pack to go on a trip we all pack two kinds of items:

Picture from ATTitude

1)  We consciously pack every tangible item we think we might need.  (In my case, unfortunately, that tends to be everything I could conceivably need in any climate under any set of foreseeable or unforeseeable circumstances resulting in baggage fees equal to the GDP of small nations.  Don’t even ask about the ladies’ lingerie or the bunny.)

2)  We subconsciously pack an invisible suitcase with intangible items such as every expectation, preconceived notion,  prejudice, and misconception we have ever harbored regarding our destination.

This practice, of which we are almost all guilty to some extent, makes us very vulnerable to seeing only that which we expect and plan to see.  As G. K .C. astutely suggests, a true traveler manages to removed the filtered sunglasses of expectation and absorbs reality as he or she encounters it.  As G. K .C. once remarked of some of his contemporaries, ““It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.”  The best way to ensure you are a traveler and not a tourist, is to recognize this growth inhibiting problem and determine that you are going to travel more like a wide-eyed child than a jaded know-it-all.

“The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.” 

This quote demands a little more reflection.  It seems paradoxical to the first which is hardly surprising since every fan of G. K .C. knows he is often referred to as the “prince of paradox.”  He believed that if you really wanted to see something clearly you could do that best by standing on your head.

Picture from Anna Maria Island Realtor

We are all so immersed in our own culture that it practically never occurs to us to question anything about it.  They say a fish does not know there is any such thing as water.  What envelopes you, largely gets ignored.  Ah, but when you travel to a distant land (remember, as a traveler, not a tourist!), suddenly everything seems strange and . . . well . . . foreign.

When we return home, especially after an extended stay, suddenly we notice all sorts of things we had heretofore taken totally for granted.

Why do we drive on the right?  Why do we switch hands with our forks?  Why do we use Fahrenheit?  What is the big bleeping deal with soccer (OK, football everywhere else) anyway.?  Why don’t we have a Parliament?  You mean all women don’t shave under their arms???  You mean all male children aren’t circumcised???

If Socrates was right that the unexamined life is not worth living, then one of the best ways to re-examine all your core beliefs is to travel somewhere with a radically different culture and a markedly different perspective.

Finally, apologies to those who regularly tune in expecting to find a more liberal sprinkling of silliness often topped off by a shot of stupidity, straight up.  Ever so often I feel compelled to write a relatively sane post to restore a modicum of credulity and decorum to this blog.  But never fear,  I am sure in my next post I will resort to the same tasty yet trivial travel tripe for which I am rapidly earning a reputation.  Just remember, tripe can be quite tasty.  What do you think goes into a hotdog?

OK, I’m Here . . . So Now What? Cancun and the Mayan Riviera

Some travelers get so caught up in their destination (where do I want to go?) and their domicile (where do I want to stay?), they forget to ask themselves “What do I want to do when I get there?”.  In fact, that question should probably precede the previous two.  If your definition of a perfect vacation contains certain “must do” items, you might want to travel somewhere that offers those specific activities.

Wow, are you blown away by my mastery of Aristotelian logic?  Don’t try this kind of insightful thinking at home without an open copy of The Organon next to you or you might bruise your little gray cells!

This post starts a new category on this blog called “OK, I’m Here . . . So Now What?” in which I will inform you about things to see and do in various destinations.  Let’s take Cancun and the Mayan Riviera as our first example . . . especially since that is the only thing I am prepared to write about at the moment.  On September 7th I published a

This is either a Mayan calendar or an Oreo cookie, not sure which.

post called Cancun:  A Bundle (or Unbundle) Of Fun in which I promised  to provide you more information about this precise subject very soon.  OK, very soon is a relative term. Compared with say the Mayan calendar’s “baktun” which divides history into periods of 394.26 years, the past few months have been a mere heartbeat.  Speaking of the Mayans, the world didn’t end last Friday while I was out Christmas shopping, did it?  I would be extremely upset to find out that while I was being jostled in line at Bath And Body Works by a tattooed teenager with a nose ring , I missed the entire apocalypse!

There are way too many tour options and activities (over a hundred) to list them all here so I will just mention a few and then point you to this awesome site where you can research, dream and even book to your little heart’s content.

Camel Safari   (No, this is not a misprint from a tour of North Africa.)

Be honest, haven’t you always wanted to ride a camel?  I’m not saying you dream about it at night because frankly, that would be a little weird.  But wouldn’t it be nice, when there is a lull in the conversation at your next cocktail party, to be able to throw out a totally random comment about camel riding in Cancun?  This is a unique experience specially designed for travelers with a taste for the exotic.  If vacations are all about experiences outside your normal routine,  unless you recently traded in your Dodge Ram pickup for a dromedary, this should certainly fit the bill.

XPLOR Tour

This is described as “A totally wild adventure where you will drive an amphibious vehicle, go over the exotic vegetation on a zip line, and swim in an ancestral cenote.”  Personally, I think it would be even wilder if you swam in the exotic vegetation and zipped over a cenote in an amphibious vehicle but that’s just me.  Actually, I have done this activity.   One small cautionary note.  When the guide tells you that should you come in a little “hot” on your zip line run, don’t worry, he will be on the platform on the other end to catch you before you wrench your knee careening into an unforgiving tree . . . well . . . let me translate for you.  What he really means is if you are young, cute, petite and female, he is there for you.  If you old, male, scruffy and a little above your fighting weight, you should count on a loud “¡Olé!” coupled with a dexterous sideways jump that would make a Spanish bullfighter proud.  If you have to ask what the heck is going on in the picture to the left, you don’t have any business signing up for this adventure.

Delphinus Trek

Interacting safely with dolphins, under water as if you were a diver, is simply unmatched.
You will appreciate them from a unique and different point of view thanks to secure underwater breathing equipment that can be used by anyone.  By anyone, I am excluding people like me who are claustrophobic in small, confined places such as Cowboy Stadium, Notre Dame and Yellowstone National Park.

Are you are ready to peruse a list of over one hundred tour and activity choices as well as nifty transfer options to and from the airport?   Just follow this link and explore to your heart’s content: Travel Leaders Cancun Activities.  When you are ready for some help selecting the perfect resort for you, just visit Travel Leaders / Main Street Travel.  And finally, when you are desperately bored and find yourself craving even more mindless drivel, just come back here.  As you have probably discovered by now, we can deliver drivel by the dump truck load around here.

The Best New Travel Blog of 2012: Ta Da … Mine!

I think you will agree that what my title lacks in humility is more than made up for in audacity.  What prompts such an immodest claim, you ask?  I blame it on the season.  No, not Halloween or Thanksgiving.  Rather, it’s that time of the year when all sorts of other bloggers with nothing better to do are starting to work on their 2013 version of lists such as these from last year:

15 Best Travel Blogs To Follow In 2012

12 Travel Bloggers You Should Read in 2012

Best Travel Blogs of 2011

The Best New And Not-So-New Blog Travel Blogs for 2012

This is just a modest sampling.  I have not linked to any of these because:

a)  The lists are now almost a year old and the new ones will be out soon and

b)   much more important, Travel By Terry is not on any of these lists.  Shocking, I know.  I attribute this, with irrefutable logic I might add, to the fact that my humble blog did not exist when these lists were compiled (having only started my blogging adventure this past June).

The purpose, therefore, of this post is to get ahead of the curve by nominating myself for consideration on some of these upcoming lists.  After all, who knows me better or loves me more.

Here is my succinctly stated case for inclusion.

1)  My travel blog is HUMOROUS.

I should probably qualify that.  Let’s just say, I often find myself giggling like a school girl when writing and even rereading many of my own posts.  I acknowledge that my threshold for bemusement may be hereditarily low (which is certianly true of my taste, style and judgment, as you faithful readers will have long ago noted),  so that theory can’t be dismissed out of hand.  In my own defense, however, I have had readers, some not even biologically related, who also said that they find this blog . . .  droll was the word I believe they used.

2)  My travel blog is INFORMATIVE.

Had you started reading my blog last June without missing a post you would first of all constitute an army of one.  I confess, even I skipped a couple.  But had you exhibited the required fortitude to wade through them all you would have garnered all sorts of invaluable information.   For example, you would have learned that my brother is equally unhinged, further strengthening the genetic weakness theory above.

You would have discovered precisely Where Conoco Kisses Cuisine.  Be honest, I bet  you didn’t even know they were dating.  Who else would have taught you how to Build A Travel Bridge To Somewhere or suggested A Round-About Way to a Nervous Break Down?  I think it is safe to say no one.  No one on this side of a padded cell at any rate.

3)  My travel blog is ADDICTIVE.

Photo by: Luis Louro

Really, addictive?  Yes, in the same way you can’t avert your eyes from a ten car pile-up on the interstate.  Would you like proof?  Unless you somehow miraculously stumbled across this specific post in the vast, uncharted black hole called cyberspace, you are a dreaded “return visitor”!  Now, now.  It is nothing to be ashamed of.  My brother once followed Judy Lollar all over our Junior High School in a hormonal rage with his tongue hanging out repeating “Ooo La Lollar”.  It happens.  Who is to say what genetic forces create the strange attractions that propel us through life.

The time has come, dear members of the blog rating jury, to rest my case.  I would say, without a trace of partiality,  that the evidence is overwhelming, incontrovertible, irrefutable and whatever else lawyers like to say about their case.  If my travel blog does not land on your list, than you are obviously just another member of the wildly biased, Trotskyite  mainstream media.  Either that or you went to college or something.

As for you my faithful readers, I would say “Keep those cards and letters coming” but as an old black radio preacher I used to listen to liked to say, “Just send letters. You can’t put cash or checks in a postcard!”