WOW . . . Royal Caribbean Style

I seldom, almost never actually, resort to a direct sales pitch on this blog.  My  theory is to so dazzle you with my razor wit and effervescent charm that you won’t be able to resist checking out our stellar travel offers (a theory not yet validated by actual evidence but I remain undeterred).  However, seeing as I pretty much make up the rules as I go along around here, I am going to grant myself the travel equivalent of a special papal dispensation with this post and be blatantly and unabashedly commercial.

My rationalization is simple (again, not that I really need much of one).  I recently started a new category on this blog called “Hear It Here First” where I promised to share breaking travel news thus ensuring your status at cocktail parties as the “Seer of Syracuse” or wherever the heck you call home.

One of our valued travel partners, Royal Caribbean International, promotes a giant, three-day blowout sale just twice a year they call their WOW SALE (hence the title of this post).  As special partners, they have given us a little heads up on this offer which does not launch until this coming Monday, February 25th and ends Wednesday, February 27th.

Here are the basics of the offer:

1)  Book any sailing departing on or after May 1, 2013.  3-Day WOW Sale includes cruisetours and sailings on their entire fleet!

2)  Deposits are reduced by 50%

3)  Up to $200 of Onboard credit

* For a fuller explanation of terms and conditions, click here.

Now that you are armed with this advance notice, you can reach out to one of our trusty cruise specialists who will in turn gather information regarding you, your preferences and your immediate travel aspirations.  Then come Monday, our agent will pounce like a ravished Bengal tiger and secure the best possible cabin and price before the other hapless rubes out there have finished their morning coffee!

Here is a list of some of our cruise experts.

Sandy DuVall  *  Lila Tapp  *  Velma Tollison

Damon Webb  *  Judy Richardson  *  Elaine Goad

Cheryl Lobo  *  Linda Matthews  *  Lana Elpiner 

When you click on the agent’s name, you will be provided a robust profile and contact information for that agent! Check out a few agents and when a particular agent’s cruise experience strikes your fancy,  just reach out to them by phone or email.  It really is that easy!

If you have been thinking about taking a cruise and have been waiting for the perfect value to come along (we don’t offer deals), act immediately.  Hey, I had a root canal this week. This little sales pitch has to be less painful than that!

The Qantas Queen Of Brand Redemption

For this post, I am going to reach back in time just a bit.  When you read the final denouement (don’t dare skip to the end), you will understand that for rather obvious reasons this event had to have taken place before 9/11.  I tell the story, however, because it is such a beautiful example of brand redemption.

Everyone out there who owns a business and is striving, brick by bloody brick, to build a powerful brand is painfully aware how much damage can be done to their efforts by one careless employee.  This is a personal story of how one callow employee sold a brand short and how another seasoned employee ransomed it from the bazaar of brazen behavior.

For better than fifteen years, I escorted tour groups to Australia most of the time placing the groups on Qantas Airways.  Because of the volume of business we were producing, whenever I traveled I usually was provided a space-available upgrade to business or first class.  On the long-haul, international segments, this was truly a godsend.  It was a professional courtesy which I never expected but always appreciated.

On one particular occasion I was flying alone from Sydney to Melbourne, about a four-hour flight.  As was my custom, I waited for the check in counter to clear, walked up and handed my boarding pass and business card to the young gate agent and explained that if he would check the record, he would see I was listed for a standby upgrade.  As always, I said something to the effect that if there happened to be room, it would be much appreciated.  He asked me to leave the boarding card with him and check back after everyone else had boarded.

As instructed, when the last passenger entered the jetway, I returned to the gate to reclaim my boarding pass.  A quick glance at the new boarding card revealed I was having a good day and would be flying down to Melbourne in business class.  I boarded the plane, stuck the boarding card in my coat pocket, handed my coat to the flight attendant to stow and settled into my comfy business class seat.

A few minutes later the young gate agent, the peach fuzz on his bright red cheeks quivering,  stormed onto the plane, found where I was sitting and in the most bellicose and accusatory tone said, “You are sitting in the wrong seat!”  Taken aback, I replied, “I suppose that is possible but I am pretty sure I am sitting in the seat that matches the boarding pass you handed me.”  “Where is your boarding pass?’, he demanded.  “In my coat pocket.”, I explained.  He immediately retrieved it, pulled out the boarding pass and in a celebratory tone trumpeted to the entire section, “See, this is not your name on the card.”

I muttered something about it being the card which he had handed me five minutes earlier, gathered my belongings and sulked back to economy amidst the hostile glares of other business class passengers who were obviously aghast that their inner sanctum had somehow been breached by this unwashed Visigoth.

Picture from Nautical Cottage Blog

I took my coach seat and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible.  After take off, I managed to lose myself in a golf magazine for the next twenty minutes or so.  We had just leveled off and the seat belt light had been extinguished when I realized someone was kneeling next to me with a tropical drink of some sort in her hand.  This angel of aviation introduced herself (and here the ravages of time and, no doubt, too many similar tropical libations over the intervening years have robbed my memory of her name), explained that she was the chief steward, placed the drink on my tray and began to apologize profusely.  “I want you know, I gave that young man a tongue lashing he won’t soon forget.”

While she was attractive and quite feminine, there was yet a commanding presence about her that left me little doubt that she could administer a proper berating when the occasion warranted that would make the crustiest DI (drill instructor) proud.  She went on to say that such rudeness was not the way Qantas treats customers and hoped that I would forgive such an indefensible breach of etiquette.  I told her not to give it another thought and that I appreciated her efforts to mitigate the damage to my fragile psyche.

She left and I returned to my reading only this time pleasantly augmenting the turning of the pages with occasional sips of my complementary libation.  About ten minutes later she returned.  “Mr. Denton, I have shared this incident with the Captain and he was equally appalled.  He asked me to invite you to join him and the copilot in the cockpit for the remainder of the flight.  Just gather your belongings and we will drop them off in First Class.”

I would like to say I was mature enough not to gloat uncontrollably as I slowly made my way through the business class cabin but alas, that is not the case.  The next couple of hours were spent in convivial conversation with the cockpit crew.  They let me remain there all the way through landing giving me a perspective on final approach I had never before enjoyed on a commercial airliner.

So the moral of this little tale should be self-evident.  My estimation of Qantas, already high, only skyrocketed.  I have told this story to anyone who would listen dozens of times over the years and now it has found its way on to my blog.  Random acts of stupidity can not only be countered but can be redeemed and ultimately crowned by acts of brilliant thoughtfulness, especially when rendered by a Queen!

Do you have any stories of brand redemption you would like to share?

River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways (3)

Well, I’ll be hogtied and hornswoggled!

If you are not from Texas (my condolences) and haven’t the foggiest notion what I am talking about, here is a helpful explanation from the Urban Dictionary, “Obviously refers to cowboys roping and throwing calfs or cows, securing the rope to the saddle horn (hornswoggled) and tying three of their legs together with the ‘pigging string’.”

Of course, I am using the phrase metaphorically of my shock and awe. Having guest posted for IgoUgo once, they actually want me back for an encore.  Go figure.  I have always wondered what a second date would feel like and now I have a chance to find out.

This is the third in my series of posts about my own Viking river cruise.  Over at IgoUgo I am calling the post The Genius of River Cruising. If you are a regular reader, you should know the drill.  I am going to lead you by the hand through cyberspace over to their site where you can read my third installment in this riveting series (my words).  All you have to do is click here.  Wait!  Wait!

Before you go, I trust you haven’t forgotten our one inviolable rule:  You go over to IgoUgo to browse, you always come back home to Travel Leaders / Main Street Travel to book!  OK, now you can click here.

Addendum to American Airline’s New Look

I was on an American Airlines flight recently when the pilot received one of those urgent, undeniable calls of nature.  It happens.  So he asked me if I would mind taking over for just a few minutes.  Ever the accommodating sort, I said sure.  When, due to  his extended delay, I had to land the plane unassisted he apologized profusely saying he was sure it was the raw oysters from the night before.

Passengers, please remain calm. One of us terrified is quite enough!

Actually, that is not precisely what happened.  I suppose you are one of those sticklers for truth, historical accuracy and all that silly sort of thing.  OK, OK. Then what really happened is that I was invited this morning, along with four hundred of my closest friends, out to DFW airport (or FW/d airport as I like to call it) to see the new American Airlines livery up close and personal.  You don’t get much closer than the cockpit.

Here are a few pictures I took.

             

 

Consider this post a brief intermission in our three act play called River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways.  The third act will arrive on your email doorstep shortly assuming you have had the perspicuity to sign up to follow this inimitable blog.

River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways (2)

When last I left you  . . . or you left me . . . let’s not quibble over who broke it off, we were strolling hand in hand down that most renowned of liquid highways, the incomparable Rhine river.  I had made some tortured pun on the name of our ship and you had tittered in that coy way you have. Then, suddenly, you slipped away into the heavy mist that creeps along the river’s banks like a cat burglar in ballet slippers.   Let’s resume our journey and see if we can’t recapture a bit of yesterday’s magic.

Before we leave Amsterdam for good though, I just have to show you this picture as a dire warning that even a pastime as noble as gardening can go to seed, so to speak. You could build an entire reality show called “Horticulture Gone Wild” based on this yard alone.  Did you notice the garage roof?

One of my favorite stops along the way was Cologne from which we get our word . . . cologne.  I figured that out without resorting to the guide book.  And speaking of guides, Viking River Cruises has this fantastic system whereby every passenger is given a headset to use on walking tours.  If you look closely at our guide, whom I called Hoss Cartwright (behind his rather imposing back, of course), you can see his microphone.

The reincarnation of Hoss Cartwright.

“Hoss” was an absolute mountain of a man.  Let’s just say he cut a wide swath and I quickly found that if you followed in his wake you could careen along behind him no matter how many Peppermint Schnaps you might have imbibed. I will say, “Hoss” had a masterful grasp of colorful local history and and a very entertaining way of presenting it.

The first picture below is a great illustration as to why comfortable walking shoes are an absolute must on this kind of experience.  The second picture is the perfect advertisement for:

1) living in the south of France instead of the north of Germany

2) letting your wife dress you in the morning

3) finally, for choosing a musical instrument that is smaller than you are! I wonder if this guy ever gave serious consideration to an harmonica.

 If you are foolhardy enough to book another river cruise company besides Viking River Cruises, the picture below depicts the cabin you will likely end up with.  Just so you know, having waterfowl hanging on your wall will cost you a surcharge..  OK, just a little harmless joke, other river cruise partners.  Actually, there are several quality river cruise companies out there but Viking is certainly an industry leader in many categories.  They are not the cheapest nor the most expensive but they provide incredible value for price.  They have won a number of very prestigious awards.  You might want to read my recent post on Travel Deals And Other Mythical Creatures for a little perspective on travel values verses supposed deals.

If I have rekindled your affection as well as sparked your passion for this wonderful way to see the world, are you willing to indulge me one final installment in this little trilogy?  If so, let’s make a date to meet back here in a few days where we will conclude our river odyssey.

River Cruising: A Languid Stroll Down Liquid Highways

There is a very good reason that so many great cities, not only in Europe but throughout the world, are found alongside some of the world’s most majestic rivers.  Before relatively recent times, challenging terrain posed many obstacles to travel over land.  In the rivers, however, the merchants found ready-made highways to transport their goods and thus these cities sprung up as inland ports-of-call.  River cruising is capitalizing upon this reality and rapidly becoming one of the hottest vacation options in travel.

A couple of years ago I was fortunate enough to experience a truly magnificent river cruise aboard the Viking Helvetia.  We sailed from Amsterdam to Basel mostly along the Rhine River.  Part of what made the experience so enjoyable was that I was sauntering along with eighty or so of my closest friends.  You are no doubt shocked I would have 80 casual acquaintances much less that many close friends.

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

You might be surprised to learn how much natural affinity there is between us like-minded, quirky travel folks.  We tend to congregate in large clusters, kind of like the Amish but without the beards . . .  and the foggiest notion of what’s appropriate in public, of course.  Actually I count the folks in this picture among my dear friends. At least I did before I published this candid shot on the internet without their permission where it will linger in some dank corner of cyberspace for all eternity.  Flip’s not really driving.  It just sort of looks that way.

I discovered that there are a whole host of things I like about river cruising, first and foremost being the leisurely pace.  Someone like my fellow blogger Lesley Carter over at Bucket List Publications, a frequenter of these pages, God love her,  would probably have to parasail behind the ship upside down, blindfolded and tethered to concertina wire just to stay awake.  Check out her blog to see what I mean.

However, for those of us for whom an adrenaline rush is defined as sipping a mellow Malbec in a dimly lit room, it is ideal.   When you are trying to absorb several hundred years of European history through the bar’s gigantic picture window, even five knots an hour seems like wave running.  Captain, can’t you slow this thing down a bit!

Giant Archimedes’ screws

Our first stop was in Kinderdijk where we did a windmill excursion.  If you have ever wondered how they move water around in a country which is largely below sea level check out these gigantic Archimedes’ screws.  Those of you who are expecting one of my typical crude attempts at humor will have to wait a sentence or two.  I’m not touching this one.

Just to prove I actually was in The Netherlands, here is one of many windmills dotting the landscape.  And no, dear skeptics out there, I did not photoshop the third hole at my local miniature golf course.  I can tell by your drooping eyelids that I am not going to be able to hold your attention all the way to Basel.  Therefore I have made an editorial decision, seeing as I am what passes for an editor around here, to return next post with more of my heart-throbbing river adventures.  I have decided to do this just for the  Helvetia of it.  (Now there’s the kind of pathetic pun you have come to expect from your humble blogger.)

Have you ever been on a river cruise?  After reading this scintillating post, would you like to?  Check it out here. At you own languid pace, of course!

American Airlines Launches New Look

Welcome to another edition of Hear It Here First.  I was perusing my morning newspaper earlier today over a cup of hot java and my almond meal gruel when I happened upon an article talking about American Airlines‘ plan to create a whole new brand and image.

I see where our friends over at Skift News are all over this story as usual.  Rafit Ali has written a story called “UPDATED: Here’s the new look of American Airlines that launched today.”

They even have a page where they are tracking the twitter reaction to the new look.  You can see American’s own presentation of their launch in a nice video here.

We in the travel business are following all the developments over at American Airlines with more than a casual interest.  Our travel company operates out of North Texas where Fort Worth is American’s home town and DFW airport is, of course, a major hub.  They are going through challenging times over at American and we wish them the very best.  Our industry needs, and consumers are best served by, at least a handful of robust competitors.  We have no special insight to share regarding the likelihood of a merger between AA and US Airways but that eventuality seems to us more and more likely.

Picture from http://www.skift.com

As promised, these little industry updates will be short and, like me, almost sickeningly sweet! What do you think of the new look over at AA?

Travel Deals And Other Mythical Creatures

For front-line travel agents, there is a term which is certain to elicit a “fingernails on the chalkboard” response every time they hear it and which, unfortunately for them, is thrown at them several times a day.  That word is “deal“.  It is invariably wrapped inside a question like a cold frankfurter inside a stale bun.  “Can you get me a really good deal on Europe?”  “Do you have any deals currently going on for Cancun?”

From the point of view of the experienced travel agent, the client might as well be asking “Have you seen any Unicorns lately?”  Or, “I am in the market for a cute little Mermaid.”  (OK, who isn’t?)  Or, “I would like to book a flight on a Phoenix departing from, naturally,  Phoenix”.  The problem is, don’t you see beloved reader, that the word deal is so amorphous, meaning such different things to different people, that it ends up having no meaning at all.  If you spend your life chasing a deal, you will end up more frustrated than a blind man searching for the Loch Ness monster in Sasquatch country.  I was going to say more frustrated than a lonely man looking for lasting love in a strip club but I was afraid you might leap to unwarranted conclusions about your humble scribe.

May I be so bold as to offer up a substitute term that I believe better captures what you really have in mind and has the added benefit of preserving the collective sanity of travel agents around the world.  Next time, try this out for size.  “I am looking for a really good value at an all-inclusive beach property in Cancun.”

At first blush, this might strike you as a distinction without a difference.  But, au contraire mon ami . . . my little buttercup . .  my little wildflower.  Don’t ask me why I drifted off into a Pepé Le Pew rift.  I have no idea.  At any rate, the distinction is very real.  The word deal implies you are looking for a bargain basement, rock bottom price with no other considerations.  No sane traveler this side of Neptune really wants that.

Suppose I told you I can get you a room in Cancun for $20.00 a night?  I probably can, by the way, but I can’t guarantee you won’t be carried off in the night by cockroaches the size of Yao Ming’s sneakers.

By way of contrast, the term value implies that elusive nexus between price and features.  When you consider the fact that you most likely have limited vacation time and a finite amount of discretionary funds (we are not talking to you, The Donald), a vacation is way too precious to sacrifice on the altar of a supposed deal.  We know you want a good price.  That pretty much goes without saying.  What is almost always left unsaid is that you want as good a price as possible on a really unforgettable vacation that exceeds your expectations.

You’re in luck.  You have come to the right place.  That is precisely what professional travel agents, like ours, are trained to do.  They find the perfect vacation for you at the best possible price.  So the next time you are looking to travel, just think back on your last disappointing travel deal, slap yourself up the side of the head (gently, of course), chug a cold V-8 and remind yourself:  I could have had a great travel value.

Missionary Travel: You Render Service, We Provide Support

Most traditional bricks and mortar (or, in our case, cardboard box and bailing wire) travel agencies have some combination of business, vacation and group travel.  A few may focus on just one of these but most, like ours, do some mix of all three.  In addition, many of us have some special niches.  (Do you prefer to pronounce niche like “peach” or niche like “sheesh’?).  Anyway, we thought about specializing in left-handed, Bolivian unicyclists (apologies to the British sitcom The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin), but decided that niche might be a trifle too narrow.

Early on in our corporate existence, the opportunity came for us to organize some large groups of volunteer missionaries to Australia and, as often happens. a niche was born.  In the intervening years we have sent literally tens of thousands of missionaries (some career, the majority volunteer) to some of the most unpronounceable corners of the world.  Based on my dubious reputation, I know you think I am making these up but I promise you we have sent people to: Ouagadougou, Lilongwe, Timbuktu (yes, it really is a place), Kinshasa, Lodz, Bhubaneswar, Ndola, and Luanda.  Also, be very careful when booking Nanning and Nanjing.  There is a difference and, in case you are wondering, the difference is nearly nine hundred miles!

Some of you might have justifiably concluded from my previous ramblings on this blog that I am guilty of consuming vast quantities of oxygen here on planet earth with no offsetting contribution whatsoever to mankind.  In defense of my humble existence,  I thought I would inform you about this salutary, beneficial and constructive dimension of our business. Hey, we are not all Mai Tais and coconut bras around here!

We have created a kind of sub-site on our company website exclusively devoted to this service category.  You can click here to visit those pages.

Some of the world’s largest airlines have ceded us access to special discounted missionary fares which have two distinct advantages.  They are very competitively priced and, equally important, they allow more flexible travel rules and restrictions.  We even have some special baggage concessions.

There are several very helpful bits of information on the site such as a list of Seven Tips To Safe International Travel For Missionaries.  You can find out what to do if you discover that a four-foot, black mambo snake has curled up in your skivies during the night.  OK, I made that up but you really can get helpful tips about money, luggage, health, etc.

You will also find a list of a dozen on so Handy Travel Resources for international travel covering everything from passport information to travel warnings, currency conversion to a world clock.

On the off chance that some of you reading this post are also travel agents, we can actually help you access these fares for your missionary customers as well.  We have a special section on the main page of the missionary travel section entitled, strangely enough, Travel Agency Owners Section.

Finally, we have created a special Missionary Travel Facebook Page where we invite you to pose questions, share stories or post pictures of you own missionary endeavors.  Come follow along!

Hopefully, with this post have I have managed to redeem my image, at least marginally, in your sight.  If you would like to know more about this meaningful aspect of our work, you have only to ask.

Two Provocative Travel Insights From G.K. Chesterton

Writer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You are to be altogether forgiven if the initials G.K.C. strike no immediate chord with you. Let me assure you, however, that there was a time in the early twentieth century when those initials at the conclusion of an essay or newspaper article (mere initials being the customary byline of the time) guaranteed a thoughtful reading by the literate class across the entire English-speaking world.   As my title reveals, those initials stand for the English journalist, novelist and essayist, Gilbert Keith Chesterton.

Chesterton was, and still is, one of the world’s most quoted individuals.   You would be doing yourself an immense and pleasurable favor to Google “G. K. Chesterton quotes” and spend a little time perusing any of the several sites that come up.   Today, however, I want to call your attention to two particular quotes.  The first offers an insight into the proper approach to travel and the second reveals the single greatest benefit of traversing the planet.

“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.”

When we pack to go on a trip we all pack two kinds of items:

Picture from ATTitude

1)  We consciously pack every tangible item we think we might need.  (In my case, unfortunately, that tends to be everything I could conceivably need in any climate under any set of foreseeable or unforeseeable circumstances resulting in baggage fees equal to the GDP of small nations.  Don’t even ask about the ladies’ lingerie or the bunny.)

2)  We subconsciously pack an invisible suitcase with intangible items such as every expectation, preconceived notion,  prejudice, and misconception we have ever harbored regarding our destination.

This practice, of which we are almost all guilty to some extent, makes us very vulnerable to seeing only that which we expect and plan to see.  As G. K .C. astutely suggests, a true traveler manages to removed the filtered sunglasses of expectation and absorbs reality as he or she encounters it.  As G. K .C. once remarked of some of his contemporaries, ““It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.”  The best way to ensure you are a traveler and not a tourist, is to recognize this growth inhibiting problem and determine that you are going to travel more like a wide-eyed child than a jaded know-it-all.

“The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.” 

This quote demands a little more reflection.  It seems paradoxical to the first which is hardly surprising since every fan of G. K .C. knows he is often referred to as the “prince of paradox.”  He believed that if you really wanted to see something clearly you could do that best by standing on your head.

Picture from Anna Maria Island Realtor

We are all so immersed in our own culture that it practically never occurs to us to question anything about it.  They say a fish does not know there is any such thing as water.  What envelopes you, largely gets ignored.  Ah, but when you travel to a distant land (remember, as a traveler, not a tourist!), suddenly everything seems strange and . . . well . . . foreign.

When we return home, especially after an extended stay, suddenly we notice all sorts of things we had heretofore taken totally for granted.

Why do we drive on the right?  Why do we switch hands with our forks?  Why do we use Fahrenheit?  What is the big bleeping deal with soccer (OK, football everywhere else) anyway.?  Why don’t we have a Parliament?  You mean all women don’t shave under their arms???  You mean all male children aren’t circumcised???

If Socrates was right that the unexamined life is not worth living, then one of the best ways to re-examine all your core beliefs is to travel somewhere with a radically different culture and a markedly different perspective.

Finally, apologies to those who regularly tune in expecting to find a more liberal sprinkling of silliness often topped off by a shot of stupidity, straight up.  Ever so often I feel compelled to write a relatively sane post to restore a modicum of credulity and decorum to this blog.  But never fear,  I am sure in my next post I will resort to the same tasty yet trivial travel tripe for which I am rapidly earning a reputation.  Just remember, tripe can be quite tasty.  What do you think goes into a hotdog?